Was it better or worse than the Animal Planet's grooming reality show, Groomer Has It? Because I'm totally watching that show and I'm completely traumatized by the amount of dying and dipping going on with poodles. Now my dog is whining and bitching about how everyone is getting pink fur and I'm like, hell no Wink! Not while you're under my roof!

Wow. I am in awe that you got to experience this.

What's the story Wishbone? Wag a taaaaaiiiil. I'm done now.

"The whole ordeal screamed 'local' and 'vanity project'." A pretty good description of the Portland hipster art scene as well, yes? It sounds like something I wouldn't want to see either. But at least Terry Lynn Link put herself on the line and put a little effort into it, instead of making a 24-hour instant movie or an "improvised theater project" or an embarrassing unrehearsed reading. She had the guts to try and fail, instead of not trying and failing anyway.

I was able to attend the review and I think the most important thing to remember, is it's not a movie for adults. It's for children. I thought it was adorable and so did my daughter AND SON. It's not a multi million dollar project from Hollywood, it's for children.

Ok, while waking up at 3:30 am (mountain time no less!) to go view the Sun Tunnels at dawn on the summer solstice was something of a life-changing experience, I'm still REALLY SAD that I missed this.

Wow. Really suprised at a pub like yours being so negative. You guys are usually pretty cool and generally accepting of things against the grain. Afterall you're NOT the Willy Week are you? Arent you supposed to be for the locals? The independents? Shame on you for trashing someones creativity. I guess we cant all be as 'cool' and 'hip' as you. Guess if it was a Mapplethorpe exhibit you would have been much more into it huh? Thank god someones doing cool and easy videos for kids. (Whether your cup of Yerba or not.) Better than them sitting around watching You Tube videos of god knows what.

Don't care if it was Sandy, San Diego or San Antonio, those people obviously put a ton of time, effort and energy into something good. Isn't the writer of this blog an unpaid intern? I've seen people try to manage kids birthday parties and events, but talk about being able to own the eyes, ears, hearts (and yes stomachs) of 500 fanatic little children?! Hats off to you Abbygale people! Hats off! Oh by the way, my coworkers kids?? Abbygale is all they talk about having purchased the video some four or five months ago. Let little kids be little kids and go back to your unpaid internship.

So which Abbygail fan forum posted the link to this entry?

Arf! Arf! Mapplethorpe! Arf!

Amy and Steve hate it when people call them and their staff on their Mean Girl shit. Obviously they're teaching the Intern well.

What the fuck is Yerba? Is it safe for my child?

My SON and I had a blast, so did my girlfriend and her SON! What a wonderful movie, creative and inspirational. Pissed off you didn't think of it first. I've already handed out 5 copies to parents who wanted one after watching mine. Great job Terri! Good thing you posted this crap. Your providing her free advertisment! :P

WOW! MY KIDS love this movie! They watch it over and over. What's up with the original BLOG on "The Portland Mercury" site? It reminds me of reading one of those CRAPPY, TRASHY tabloids. It's amazing how WRONG you have the story. I DID attend the Premier of this CHILDREN'S film, hence, CHILDREN'S...If you are smart enough to read, you would have known it was for CHILDREN ages 2-10...it said that right on the invite! With that said, I guess your comment just shows your immaturity. You should be ashamed of yourself...obviously you're not a mother or a father, those kind of remarks don't come from people who love and raise kids. What happened to you as a child? Did you not feel loved? Did you never have a pet? I have personally researched the history of this movie, as I find it facinating...you should get your facts straight. The writer, Terri Lynn Link, loves children and animals. She rescues many of them. The movie has just been endorsed by KIDS FIRST-the Coalition for Quality Children's Media, and just picked to be in their Children's Film Festival. The film just received a Telly Award. I personally know the writer and this was NOT a VANITY issue for her. She is a very nice and caring person that loves seeing children SMILE! Each child that attended the Premier was gifted with FREE $15 GIFT BAG, tiara or pirate patch, and after watching the movie, they were treated to a wonderful tea pary. Each gift bag contained a movie, poster and several props from the movie...Over 500 bags were given out-can do the math? I dare you, that is, if you're smart enough. I am smart enough to do the math, and she could have bought a really nice new car for what she PERSONALLY gave away to the CHILDREN of the COMMUNITY that day. Who gives away free stuff anymore? This was done SOLEY for the CHILDREN to feel SPECIAL and remember it for a LIFETIME! Schools, Daycares and Hospitals are showing the movie to hundreds of CHILDREN...oh yeah, they are probably a little more educated than you. Did I mention the 2 LIMOS she sent downtown Portland to pick up CHILDREN from the SHRINER'S HOSPITAL? Oh, I guess you never took the time to meet her, like I did. I'm so sorry you have to find BAD in something meant to be so GOOD-enjoy your miserable life-you should be a papparazo-you'ld fit right in! BTW...GREAT job on making yourself sound like such a heartless soul! You need glasses if you can't see the GOODNESS this writer is trying to do for the Children of the WORLD! No wonder you're NOT being PAID-who would pay for your IGNORANCE?

IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN! DON'T YOU GET THAT??? SHE LOVES CHILDREN!!!!!

Wow, reactions are on par with an average Matt Davis blog post... I guess we're not allowed to treat kids movies like real movies and, you know, review them. Anybody know any 7 year olds who can write articles so we can have a review on the next Shrek movie?

wow, sounds like most of the people love the movie, because I'm sure they understood that it was for kids, and probably went for there kids and to support something that is for kids. Unlike the unpaid art intern, who came out to sandy just to trash somebodies creation that seemed to take a lot of hard work and time. I took my niece and nephew to the show and they loved it, and what's even better is that they loved it even though they have seen it several times at home already. I think it was especially great that she brought the children from the hospital. My niece and nephew especially loved the grab bags. I saw Terri Lynn on AM Northwest and on 105.1 the buzz, where actual professionals are doing the interview and obviously they liked it, shows how much the unpaid art intern knows. It just so happened that one of my friends let me know about this site and when I looked at it and saw what Mr. Unpaid art intern write I figured I would write something on here, otherwise I have better things to do then trash peoples movies... But then again I guess that explains why the art intern has all the time to do this, that's right cuz he's unpaid. Oh and by the way, the movie is nothing like "portlands weird art scene" or whatever he wrote. I guess if he's into art and doesn't like portlands art style maybe he should move, no one would miss him, has he ever got 700 people together?

Hey Actualized Drew, I met 105 children, first and second graders, a few weeks ago that had watched the film, some 3 times. Their movie review was the age group you just asked for in your blog. "Hands down", Abbygail is the latest, greatest, coolest thing according to them. Believe it or not kids CAN write honest reviews at 7 years old. Someone may have to write it for them. But they can certainly tell you what they feel.

I think the name "Girlfriend" is cute not "creepy". Yes, it is different, but that's what's cool about it, it's not like every other dog's name. Oh ya and Children's movies can be reviewed, but when you watch them, you need to keep in mind that it's a children's movie, not a 2 hour long action film met for adults. There were a lot of movies that I loved when I was younger, and now there pretty boring to me, but my kids sure love them just like I did when I was there age. The film seemed to do nothing but encourage good behavior in kids, something that we need in todays world...considering the only thing kids usually watch on tv is sex, violence, and drugs. It's pretty pathetic that people have to criticize somthing that is only doing good...bringing kids from Shreiner's hospital to take part in the fun...that sounds pretty good to me.

Are these comments all from the same IP addy? Also, trailer, please!!!

Hey Mercury Gang. Weird how quickly Blog-word travels. A friend just told us that you wrote about us. Well , actually about our daughter. Ok I mean actually about our dog. We were happy to see that you spelled her name correct in your story, but there are a couple of facts missing. So here’s from Betty’s mom and Dad is the real-er scoop. We laughed when we read that our dog “had to be escorted from the premises.” Then again not too surprising as sensationalism stories ARE what sells today right? (And we agree with another posting that this author SHOULD pursue a career as a tabloid writer… they got it down!) Anyways, for those of you dog lovers (and especially those of us with big dogs like a Siberian Husky / Alaskan Malamutes with TONS of fur) probably know that hot muggy Portland summers make dogs shed. So the simple fact of moving Betty out of the processional of people to brush her off and then put her back in front of the cam… well you get the point. We just found it funny that you made Betty sound like a cheap dime store criminal or some weirdo who had to be “removed from the premises.” Funny how those few little words can evoke such an image and thought. Ok so let’s quickly address the” little girls in their dresses and bored brothers”. I’ll admit, I was a skeptic at first, but what we can tell you is that about 100 little girls showed up in their OWN tiaras. When we arrived and saw a goody table with pirate patches and tiaras we did kind of chuckle, but guess what goody was the first to run out? Yea, silly little crowns. Oh and we saw a woman ten years+ our senior who sent her little boy hounding for two more tiaras to take home to their neighbors. So you never know what people may latch on to and enjoy. Now, as far as the very “local” feel?! Here’s a little story. One time I went to the VH1 Awards Show in LA and guess what?! More fanfare and excitement (and I mean genuine excitement) from the Abbygail attendees when the “stars” arrived. In LA at the Red Carpet for the Awards all I heard was “where’s the bar?” and “what do you mean LA is smoke free now?” and the obligatory “oh my god, no we can totally get into the Ivy… my stepdad owns the valet company there” and various other statements like that. And let me just say one more thing, and this is 100% genuine… When all the dogs were getting their picture ta ken, a young girl leaned towards the front of the line. She had tears in her eyes and asked if she could have her picture taken with “Champ” (the boyfriend of girlfriend who the original blogger said was a “creepy” name… they’re dog-boyfriend and dog-girlfriend get it??) Anyways, watching this girl hug the dog while her mom took her picture. Ok so I’ll admit, I was totally crying…. Just like the little girl. In Sandy that Saturday morning, I heard about 500 kids screaming (happily) when the dogs made their way into the theater. So I guess it just goes to show. There’s a little bit of everything for everyone. And yes , that was the dyed pink dog you saw riding and supporting women survivors on the Breast Cancer float during the Rose Festival Parade. Sorry this all just began by explaining the coat textur e of a Siberian husky such as like Betty, and then we just got a little carried away. But hey, isn’t that what Blogs are for?

My wife and I we feel this Movie should be the movie of the year. as we to saw all those kids loving those dogs etc. unlike all that garbage on Tv like the Simpion's & The Family Guy & thats the 70's show whcih are damning our kids and grand kids, so guess when somthing good comes down the pike,those that like garbage, can' t stand it. we say way to go Terri lynn & Allen link.the Tail's Of Abby Gail is a master piece,

My wife and I we feel this Movie should be the movie of the year. as we to saw all those kids loving those dogs etc. unlike all that garbage on Tv like the Simpion's & The Family Guy & thats the 70's show whcih are damning our kids and grand kids, so guess when somthing good comes down the pike,those that like garbage, can' t stand it. we say way to go Terri lynn & Allen link.the Tail's Of Abby Gail is a master piece,

My wife and I we feel this Movie should be the movie of the year. as we to saw all those kids loving those dogs etc. unlike all that garbage on Tv like the Simpion's & The Family Guy & thats the 70's show whcih are damning our kids and grand kids, so guess when somthing good comes down the pike,those that like garbage, can' t stand it. we say way to go Terri lynn & Allen link.the Tail's Of Abby Gail is a master piece,

God, I love this post so much. If you want to see the trailer, where the dog rides a freaking horse, click here.

We took our daughters to this event and they LOVED it! They were excited to get all dressed up and have a good time...tea party, cakes!! FOR ONCE in this DISGUSTING PLACE CALLED PORNLAND, OREGON WHERE LIVE SEX ACT SHOW ARE RAVED ABOUT...LITTLE GIRLS GET TO GO TO A MOVIE WHERE INNOCENTS (a rare thing indeed in this world) IS STILL AVAILABLE!! I happen to know TERRI LYNN and she has the biggest heart!! She did not do this for VANITY!!! It was their first film project that they had a lot of fun with!! Seriously!! You people need to get a life...so what if it wasn't the best film ever!! Little girls flocked to the theater seats to see the animals...they got to be "princesses" for a day and just be little girls!! SWEET INNOCENT FUN.. There is no harm in dying a dogs hair pink...what about all these people destroying their bodies with massive piercings...that scares the hell out of little kids! And why the hell would you make something perverse out of naming a dog girlfriend!? YOU SICK FUCK!! Come on, let kids be kids and stop ripping on something that was never meant to cause any harm! Did you know that there are more stip clubs in Portland than in Vegas...NOW that seems to be something to be pissed off about!! It's ok to make $ taking your clothes off your body and being a WHORE ( VAINITY FOR SURE ) but you can't make a kids film and bless CHILDREN??? Did you know that they invited SICK KIDS FROM the CHILDRENS HOSPITAL!!! WHAT EVER...NEVER HEARD OF YOUR STUPID BLOG ANYWAY!! BUT HEY THANKS FOR GETTING THE WORD OUT ON THIER FILM!! BAD PRESS IS GOOD PRESS IN THE MOVIE INDUSTRY BIOTCH!!!

Interesting fact about Pornland, OR. I never knew it had more strip clubs than Vegas. I bet that's the reason SINGLE CHILDLESS UNPAID INTERN was up so early on a saturday morning attending a CHILRDEN'S movie, he probably just got out of one of the many strip clubs after an all-nighter. Getting tired of all the SMUT, the SICK PERVERTED FUCK probably just came to the premiere just to see a bunch of INNOCENT Children. Where do they find these SICK FUCKS? I guess the Portland Mercury forgot to check the SEX OFFENDER list before hiring a Blog Master/Reporter. Oh that's right, UNPAID INTERNS aren't subject to a background check. What is this world coming to? Good to know the "Abby Crew" is doing something positive in this negative society. As for the film, my children can't get enough! They LOVE it!!! They play it over and over, I've probably seen it over 300 times just because it's the only thing that's ever on the TV. I took them to the premiere and the turnout amazed me. I've never seen anything like it. Hundreds of Abby fans packed around the red carpet and in the lobby. The movie wasn't produced with a multi-million dollar budget like a bunch of the stupid shit that comes out of Hollywood with NO educational value whatsoever, that kids will watch a couple times then get sick of it. As for the dirty camera lens, where was it? I never saw it and I guess neither did the Telly committee when they issue their award to "The Tails of Abbygail." I can tell the SMALL crew that produced this priceless little film put a lot of heart and soul into this production for it to come out the way it did with what they had to work with. A million thanks to "The Tails of Abbygail" for putting POSITIVE thoughts into the minds of our children. It goes to show how easily Bad press can turn into Good Press. Way to go Abbygail Crew!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE NEXT.....

Unpaid intern is a girl. And I'm pretty sure she's not a sex maniac. But thanks for commenting.

Wow! Your kids have already watched this movie over and over again, upwards of 300 times? That's some good parenting right there. Congrats on helping your kids grow up to be fat, stupid, and lazy.

The Portland Mercury should be proud to have your representation as an intern and critic...It is great to see how the Mercury continues to plant bad negative seed into our already perverse ridden town and doing so by ripping on a hometown based kids show. What? You got nothing better to do with your life. Let me tell you that as an intern you are blind to the fact you are getting used by this magazine to do their dirty work, which is a sad miserable existence being that you're probably just trying to fit in to the cool Portland Mercury which is just a smut pushing, pervert supporting, piece of shit paper that is a waste of our precious trees you so lovingly hug. The ONLY two things the Portland Mercury is good for is showing the perverts where they can go hang together and keeping my house warm by burning in my fireplace along with Dante's Inferno and Devil's Point. I'm sorry that you have traveled so far from your innocence as a child that instead of seeing this show as a promising ray of hope of what could be a wonderful kids show having a positive impact on what is left of innocent fun, but rather you feel you need to step on a kids show to do your unpaid job @ the Pornland Mercury Peddlers of shit Magazine. How does it feel to get criticized critic? If you're gonna pick on someone, next time don't pick the innocent kids show. Lame, lame, lame...If I were you I would find a new internship before the flames consume you...

The Portland Mercury should be proud to have your representation as an intern and critic...It is great to see how the Mercury continues to plant bad negative seed into our already perverse ridden town and doing so by ripping on a hometown based kids show. What? You got nothing better to do with your life. Let me tell you that as an intern you are blind to the fact you are getting used by this magazine to do their dirty work, which is a sad miserable existence being that you're probably just trying to fit in to the cool Portland Mercury which is just a smut pushing, pervert supporting, piece of shit paper that is a waste of our precious trees you so lovingly hug. The ONLY two things the Portland Mercury is good for is showing the perverts where they can go hang together and keeping my house warm by burning in my fireplace along with Dante's Inferno and Devil's Point. I'm sorry that you have traveled so far from your innocence as a child that instead of seeing this show as a promising ray of hope of what could be a wonderful kids show having a positive impact on what is left of innocent fun, but rather you feel you need to step on a kids show to do your unpaid job @ the Pornland Mercury Peddlers of shit Magazine. How does it feel to get criticized critic? If you're gonna pick on someone, next time don't pick the innocent kids show. Lame, lame, lame...If I were you I would find a new internship before the flames consume you...

This is hilarious. I can't decide what I love more: the handheld camera work? the psychotic yuppie parent comments? the insistence that the Mercury isn't supporting "indie filmmakers"?! Or maybe it's that a supposedly bright, cheery kid's film can't manage to overcome the gloomy dark greyness of its Oregon locations? That trailer looks like a home movie...um...with horses and a boat and some fancy-sounding guy narrating. This whole thing screams nouveau-rich vanity project. And now that I think about it, what young mother hasn't had a flash of I-bet-I-could-write-a-children's-book syndrome? Or scarier yet, the author's "kids" are her frighteningly humanized little dogs. Creepy!

erm... WTF? I have to wonder what would be said about Manos: The Hand of Fate if it were a new release and one were to blog about it now. Oh, don't get me wrong. I love dogs--my last one died at 16, and I love kids--both still alive at 10 and 7, and i love dyed hair, but it sounds like an honest review of a movie is getting ripped by some parents that are more than a bit clueless. There doesn't seem to be a word for it, but some parents are *whipped* by their kids (again...not the right word, but you get the idea.) "Oh, my kids loved it! It was the coolest thing! they watched it umpteen bazillion times!" Hey! Dipshit! Yah, YOU, F-tard! If I gave my kids morphine, they would love it! Seriously. That doesn't mean it is GOOD for them. Your responsibility as a parent isn't just to keep the rugrats entertained. It is to actually TEACH them something. Show them a discovery channel show, or if you want to see them laugh, show them some Buster Keaton. Get their brains moving. Get them thinking about fun stuff. Show them something that isn't oriented towards selling toys, cereal, or slutty clothing. But for the love of all that is sacred and holy, please show them something that is well made. Give them something to aspire to.

All of these outraged parents have APPALLING grammar.

This shit is hilarious. Why are parents so offended? Is it because they are letting their kids read blogtown? That is some shitty parenting. Or maybe it's because this post was linked from some Abbygail fan site... and for some creepy-ass reason, these 'adults' have nothing better to do than to go out of their way to read a publication they never would touch (except to burn for heat/combustion) and complain about it. GROWN-UPS OF SANDY... PLEASE GO BACK TO PLAYING WITH YOUR CHILDREN IN THE FRONT YARD (or hooking up the DVR so they can watch more television). GET OFF THE DAMN COMPUTER. love Childless Bastard

"If I gave my kids morphine, they would love it!" WORD.

I kind of hated the world today until I read these comments. Especially the Billie and Willie slam dunk! Whoever said 7 year olds can give an honest review of a film, tell them this joke I just wrote. "Poo poo poo doo doo doo caca" then make a fart noise. It'll kill!

if some of the people commenting would actually watch the movie, they would understand why the people who have watched it are so outraged. Your taking a wholesome movie that isn't trying to sell anything and bashing the shit out of it. I can't believe the Portland mercury would support this, but then I guess that's why this is the first time I've ever heard of them, what they should be doing is supporting local people. if you watch the movie you would see that it does teach kids things like...don't talk to strangers, wear your life jacket, and that being different is ok. It teaches them to accept themselves and others as they are. Its not teaching them mathematics, its teaching them life lessons, the age group is 2-10. Safety is an important issue with young children, not to mention believing in yourself and loving who you are, since we live in a society where you're told what to look like and how to act. By the way the author has two daughters both very successful in life, not to mention all the other young people she has mentored over the years. It is rude to turn a dog named girlfriend into something creepy, so the art intern is the one who started that and made themselves look bad. Watch and judge it for what it is, not what you want it to be. Maybe some of you will actually watch the movie from a child's perspective. It's fine to write a review on a movie but remember what the movie was made for. I can't believe that someone would trash something that is meant to do good. Considering children came from the hospital and got to enjoy themselves, most of the animals were rescued that were in the film, and the pink dog rode on the breast cancer awareness float. Sounds nothing like a vanity issue to me.

Billy and Willie 4 Life

Mercury, could you get Billy & Willy to write a column for you? They have been hands down my favorites so far. Thanks!

The funniest part of this is that there's no actual review of the film in this article. A few comments about aspects of it but that's it. Then the bleached, Starbucks -totin' suburban soccer-moms start with their "the Mercury's the Devil! think of the Children! We must save the children!!!!" Jesus, like a bunch of 4th graders read the Mercury to get their movie reviews or something. Or like this blogis going to prevent the makers of the film from making a bazillion dollars and buying a whole fleet of those ugly mini-hummers and a pack of expensive vanity-dogs (while animal shelters continue to euthanize unprecedented numbers of animals nobody seems to want.) How's that for negative assholes?

oh RT, you make me so proud!

i mean, cheesus! RT, you're still an embarrassment.

...(while abortion clinics continue to euthanize unprecedented numbers of babies nobody seems to want.) How's that for negative assholes? Posted by Cheesus | June 24, 2008 11:53 AM

All I got out of this was that I was embarrassing at something. OLD NEWS.

Huh ?!? Since when do "abortion clinics" "euthanize" babies? For one thing a BABY has already been born. But while we're on the subject we are teetering on the brink of a worldwide resource crisis primarily due to overpopulation. I would in no way advocate euthanizing babies, but seriously, not having so goddamn many would be a really good idea right about now. They're all cute and innocent and when they're young but they grow up into another hungry mouth. Condoms people, condoms!!!!

Best. Blogtown post. Ever.

Dear Unpaid Intern: I would like to buy you a beer for being brave enough to take this on. (Though I admit I found the note on the invite that claimed this was, like, the ONLY movie EVER made for the 2-9-year-old demographic some of the funniest shit, um, ever.) I am in awe of the wildly entertaining response you've pulled out of the crazies. As always, if people like it and it's local? IT MUST BE AWESOME. (I won't even touch the FOR THE CHILDREN! THINK OF THE CHILDREN! nonsense.) (Confession: For the first paragraph, I thought Baffled Parent's comment was satire. Whoops.)

Well, well, well, sounds like a little jealousy that your movie did so well. Don't worry Terri Lynn, I know you PERSONALLY, and I saw how hard you worked on making it all happen. You, unlike poor little 'I wish I could be a real creator' writer guy, will go far, and already have taken your series to the next level. It was clear that it was for the children, and for him to show up and expect any different is his own fault for being such a sophomore. Just remember, no publicity is bad publicity, so let them bark about how negative and lame they are. We own a registered in-home daycare, and 'The Tails of Abbygail' is the MOST requested movie by all of the children every day that we allow movies. Every child that sees this movie loves it, and the next chapter will only be better!! Every child that was there loved the movie, even the 90-year-old one. Hmmmmmm, you failed to mention that Terri Lynn had two stretched limozines sent to the Children's Hospital to pick up kids for this movie. If she was so vein, wouldn't she just invite the who's who of Portland? I fail to believe that you would be on that list. Muah~

"Every child that was there loved the movie, even the 90-year-old one." Wow, a 90-year-old child. Keep 'em coming!

Anna, the Linquistically flexible wrote: >Your taking a wholesome movie that isn't trying to sell anything and bashing the shit out of it. Heh. Lets be clear here: The review didn't bash the shit out of the movie. It just said it was bad. No biggie. Lots of folks made bad movies. In fact, MOST folks make bad movies -- witness any odd-numbered Star Trek movie, or Star Wars Episodes 1 to 3. This has moved beyond the movie itself, and now is in the realm of the personal. I can see you are linguistically prepared to rumble, despite some obvious deficiencies, so I say, GAME ON! >I can't believe the Portland mercury would support this, but then I guess that's why this is the first time I've ever heard of them, what they should be doing is supporting local people. Oh, dear. Which part of this run-on sentence should I attack first: 1. If you can't believe that the Merc folks would support this, you are living in a cave. Never trust these folks to give you a fair shake. They are shifty, crafty and slightly unhinged. Trust them at your own peril. Especially that Matt Davis. 2. this is the first time you heard of them cuz you are a turtle, hiding in your shell, and this is the first time you noticed a shiny outside that shell. 3. They do support local people. Take some time and read the rest of the paper. Only someone who is trolling wouldn't know that. F'in trolls. >don't talk to strangers, No...TALK to strangers. Its how you meet people, you dope. Don't talk to your skeezy uncle that won't stop asking you to find the quarter in his pocket (there WAS no quarter, the Bastard!) but always talk to strangers. Say Hi. Be polite. Wave. Smile! People are nicer than you might think! >being different is ok. Haw! Back when I came out, that was the watchword, "hey, there little buddy, its OK to be different, AS LONG AS YOUR ARE DIFFERENT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" F that. >Its not teaching them mathematics, its teaching them life lessons, the age group is 2-10. Those things are life lessons? Seriously? In a 30 minute movie with poor focus? >Safety is an important issue with young children No, its not. Safety is an important issue with overprotective and paranoid adults that are afraid of everything. Everyone else using their brains. The safety OF children may be an important issue FOR adults, but young children, by logic don't care about safety. >By the way the author has two daughters both very successful in life, not to mention all the other young people she has mentored over the years. Excellent! I sure hope she taught them decent grammar. >It is rude to turn a dog named girlfriend into something creepy No...rude was the joke about "the uncle" above. The dog named "girlfriend" is just plain...er...faggy. > Watch and judge it for what it is, not what you want it to be. erm...no...not with a review like that. I prefer to watch porn, or televangelists, or maybe HSN. Something with decent production values thats a little less preachy. >It's fine to write a review on a movie but remember what the movie was made for. Hey, folks...you might not like the movie as someone who is smart, but pretend to be stupid like your kid and it will make perfect sense! >I can't believe that someone would trash something that is meant to do good. Wow...you have a low threshold for beliefs. >Considering children came from the hospital and got to enjoy themselves, most of the animals were rescued that were in the film, and the pink dog rode on the breast cancer awareness float. Sounds nothing like a vanity issue to me. Nope...Nor I. Sounds like A1 perfect troll fodder, tho!

Apparently, if you try real hard and put a lot of effort into something, no one can ever say anything negative about it. Because you tried reallllll hard. "My niece and nephew especially loved the grab bags. I saw Terri Lynn on AM Northwest and on 105.1 the buzz, where actual professionals are doing the interview and obviously they liked it, shows how much the unpaid art intern knows." Kids like free stuff! Interviewers are professional, because they liked the movie, unlike that unpaid person. What's with the people capitalizing? SMUT, CHILDREN, LOVE, VANITY, CRAPPY, DISGUSTING, SICK FUCKS, INNOCENT. Are the capitalized words good or bad, I can't tell. I mean, I love sick fucks, but children, not so much.

Thanks, The Portland Mercury. Now I'm afraid to leave city limits again.

Unpaid intern: you made me laugh. I bet it would have been fun to see this movie with you. In fact, I bet you are fun in general. You know why? Because you apparently have a thick skin and are creative and observant. Also you are working an unpaid job because you like to be productive and learn things, which means you are probably completely awesome. I love your self-esteem and brains and I have a giant crush on you. Will you make out with me? People who think "it's for children" is an excuse for sloppiness or shortcomings should take in some quality children's culture sometime, like, I don't know, some Shel Silverstein or something. And people who mistake "X has flaws" for "no one should have taken the time to create X" need to diagram both those sentences and then go drink a beer. Sheesh. Kisses! Brooke