Aren't we a day early? I save all my best material for Friday!

The internet clearly knows far too much about my sex life at this point. Wait, no, it doesn't.

I once slept with a guy I met at The Silverado that liked to meow like a cat during sex. Not just mewling noises, but actual honest-to-god I-am-sounding-it-out meowing. I told him to knock it off, he says "but you said you were into guys into puppy play" and I go "PUPS DON'T SAY 'MEOW'" -- AND HE GOT MAD AT ME!

I'm, like, intolerant or somethin'.