Dear BH,
Your BF doesn't love you anymore. He hates you. He knows you will stay even though he hurts you and makes horrid demands because you feel guilty. He keeps you around because he enjoys hurting you because you hurt him.

DTMFA

I am no Dan Savage, but I'll try to take you around the back-door way to understand exactly why he doesn't love you anymore.

You said yourself that he claims that if you can't get over the past you can't move one. Well, if he really did love you and WANTED to move on then he would try his hardest to get over the past.
- I'm a guy who's had a girl or two cheat on me, and I've gone both ways, once I really did want to get over it and move on, and it did take a while, but not 3 years. 4-6 months and you should be good to go, IF you want to get through it. Then another GF I had cheated and I was begged to stay, so I did, but I didn't make any effort to work through anything, and guess what? we broke up because we were stuck in a rut. Yes, maybe it was my fault, but I checked out when she screwed up.

So come on, DTMFA, grab a maids outfit and find yourself a guy who'll give you some physical attention.

Dear Bleeding Heart,

You are French and in your twenties. You can probably date any 30+, single or married heterosexual man who is not into fake boobies. Please watch the movie "Romance" which was produced in your native tongue. I think you will enjoy it. Oh- and dump the jerk.

I won't tell you whether or not the feelings this man has for you and you for him are love or not, I will let you have your own definition of love. I won't say that he is a jerk, because he may have many good qualities. But I will say that your love and this guy are not unique.

Love unfortunately doesn't cure all things and being with this man, jerk or saint, isn't making you happy. Just like your love didn't stop you from needing affection while you were apart, love can't stop you from needing affection while you are together.

Life is short, even though in your 20s it may seem like you have plenty of time to suffer. If you want to suffer, continue on and let your heart bleed. Yours won't be the first relationship held together by pain and fear.

If you decide you want to enjoy yourself, you should start fresh with someone new. Letting go can be hard, but why hold on? If it is only to prove that you haven't made a mistake in giving this man your heart, don't think of it as a mistake but rather something real that like everything can change.

It is a mistake to look to someone else for your happiness. If you aren't happy and you want to be, the change is up to you. You are the only one who can do what is right for yourself. There is nothing you can do to make someone else give you what you need.