SL Letter of the Day: The Best Man...


I've been in this situation three distinct times, and I've told my "friends" that they absolutely shouldn't marry this person, and I was of course ignored. Example: In one of the situations the groom 3 months before the wedding "fake" karate chopped his fiancee in the neck (to the point of obvious pain for her) during a birthday party with about 15 of his friends present. He thought it was funny, the rest of us looked on in horror. We'd had our doubts before, that pretty much sealed the deal that the guy had major issues.

So now I simply refuse to bother interfering with other people's relationships, or even really give advice, because frankly they aren't going to listen anyway, they are looking for validation, not advice or knocking them off their pedestal.
seriously...? A fake karate chop? He should have been thrown into jail... WTF?
@ first commenter: don't let the three times with no results stop you. I think it is important for friends to say these things to other friends, like Dan has suggested. Dan didn't say that saying something would -do- anything... and usually it doesn't (immediately). I think however it does help for over time. These types of people do usually still get married, but if given a heads up by friends they can feel less guilty about wanting to end the marriage when it comes to that.
Speaking as someone who was in the relationship where friends and family were telling me to get out, I'd like to chime in with another "please continue to tell your friends to get out." People telling me that made me go through phases starting with "no one understands our love" to "all relationships are like this and all people have friends that don't like their s.o. and feel the need to tell them" and then to "okay, you're right but this is too difficult to get out of" and finally on to "what the fuck am I doing here and how quickly can I pack?"