GOOD MORNING, SMIRK! GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN!

I SERIOUSLY HATE ELECTION-DAY COVERAGE. SO SO SOOOOOO MUCH! TOO MANY BAD MEMORIES. JUST SITTING THERE, DEJECTED WATCHING THE STATES SLOWLY TURN RED. FUCK THAT. FUCK THAT SO SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

ALSO:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALISON HALLETT!

GOOD MORNING ALL. I ACTUALLY KEPT MY VOTER PAMPHLET FROM 2008 AND WAS READING IT LAST NIGHT. GOOD TIMES.

JONESER, CAN I GET A PLUS ONE IN YOUR TIME CAPSULE?

GOOD MORNING, PEOPLES.

I'M GOING TO GO GET SOME COFFEE. I'LL BE BACK AFTER TO CHECK REPLIES ON THIS POST. PEACE.

GOOD MORNING BOOGIEWOOGIES!

WHAT ABOUT THE RIOTING IN THE STREETS LAST NIGHT IN SF? I HEAR THEY SET A MUNI BUS ON FIRE AND STUFF? I AM GLAD WE LIVE IN PORTLAND WHERE RIOTS ARE QUELLED EASILY DUE TO THE CONSTANT THREAT OF POLICE BRUTALITY.

GOOD MORNING! ¡FELIZ DIA DE LOS MUERTOS! THE BRITS HAVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS, LET THEM HAVE THEIR LITTLE LAUGH. GAVE ME A CHANCE TO SEE THAT DEMON SHEEP AD AGAIN...GREAT STUFF!

ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE WALMART STARTS SELLING JUSTIN BIEBER INFLATABLE SEX DOLLS, MADE IN NORTH KOREA, FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $29.99. AMERICA IS READY!

GOOD MORNING NEWS AND THE PEOPLE WHO COMMENT ON IT! THE ASTRONAUTS ON THE ISS GET TO VOTE FROM SPAAAAAAACE!

I WISH I GOT TO VOTE FROM SPACE, BUT IT'S PROBABLY HARD WITH MAIL-IN ONLY BALLOTS.

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE. TK, SOMEDAY WE CAN ALL VOTE VIA PNEUMATIC TUBES FROM OUR CAPSULES IN SPACE. GONNA BE AWESOME, I TELLS YA.