Comments

1
"Hey baby, how about you and me preserve the purity of the white race?"

Get it? Because Tea Partiers are racists and hate black people. ( I assume with a name like Dave Bow, you're white.)
2
"I don't believe in masturbation either, so care to help me out?"
3
How about: "Did you see what the Mercury wrote about us? Yeah, me neither. Can I buy you a drink?"
4
Listen babe, let's symbolically protest taxes. Help me unload my boner tea into the harbor of your breasts.

Sorry, DB. Best I could do on the fly.
5
"Girl, you know I love small government and big booty."
6
Wanna get in on a T (and A) party after this?
7
Start with:

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a Satanic sinkhole of socialism like Portland?"

(Yeah, the party's in Clackamas, I know...close enough.) This question allows her to complain about the city, or to state that she lives in a more righteous area like Boring or McMinnville. Now she's talking about herself! You're halfway there!

Once she's warmed up, follow with:

"I hope you love Jesus, because I'll have you shouting His name later tonight!"

These lines are guaranteed to work.
8
I know you're not a witch but you just put a spell on me.....................
9
I vote for being less sexual assault-y!

What about something as simple as "I love that the tea party gives such a platform to women." (You can leave out the part about them actually hating reproductive freedom, the modern family, etc.)
10
BOO JONESER! TOO LEVEL-HEADED!

Please wait...

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