Good Afternoon, News!

Comments

1
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE GOING TO GET US ALL SICK!
2
UGH. STREP THROAT IS NO JOKE. BUT AFTER YOUR CHECKERED PAST, AREN'T YOU IMPERVIOUS TO ANTIBIOTICS?

IF I WERE YOU I'D STAY IN BED 24/7 AND TAKE A SHOT OF BOURBON EVERY 45 MINUTES. IN A WEEK YOU'LL EITHER BE GOOD AS NEW, OR DEAD.
3
NATALIE, NOOOOOOOO!!!
4
WHEN I WAS LITTLE I THOUGHT THAT TEENA'S NAME WAS TEENA BECAUSE SHE WAS A TEENAGER.
5
GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYONE!

MERRY KWANZAA AND STUFF!
6
IT MAY NOT MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, BUT THIS IS A USEFUL REMINDER FOR ALL OF US. GRAB YOUR 2011 CALENDAR AND MAKE A NOTE FOR NOVEMBER 23: "TAKE IT EASY ON THE HOLIDAY FELLATIO."
7
@TODD

NOVEMBER 23 IS MY BIRTHDAY. I AM JUST SAYING.
8
@KIALA: YOUR BIRTHDAY IS HOLIDAY FELLATIO DAY? THAT'S PRETTY COOL!
9
THANKS FOR YOU CONCERN, GUYS! I'M BATTLING THIS STREP THE SAME WAY I BATTLE ALL MY ILLNESSES: ANTIBIOTICS, BOURBON (thx, Todd) AND OXYCONTIN. STREP? YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE!

P.S. THEY SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE A HOLIDAY DEVOTED TO FELLATIO. FELLATIMAS?
10
GOOD AFTERNOON, GUYS! I JUST HAVE A REGULAR OL' SORE THROAT. I'VE NEVER HAD STREP BUT IT SOUNDS PRETTY LAME.

HOORAY FOR BEING BACK IN TOWN, BOO FOR SUPER-EARLY MORNING FLIGHTS. HAPPY POST-XMAS!
11
Wait-- does this mean I'm going to get Strep Dick?
12
AS I GET ALL OF MY MEDICAL ADVICE FROM THE INTERNET ANAGRAM SERVER, I PLUGGED IN "HUMPHREY HAS STREP THROAT" AND CAME UP WITH "HURT? TRY A PROMPT HASHEESH." SOUNDS PRETTY AUTHORITATIVE TO ME.

AN ALTERNATIVE TREATMENT PLAN IS ALSO HINTED AT: "PORT...A HEATHER...PUSS...RHYTHM."

YOUR CHOICE.