Leaving Daniel Baldwin in Stripperland

Comments

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Didn't they already make this movie? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie_Stripp…
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This movie has zilch to do with Troma, Lloyd is just a nice guy who's done tons of cameos for z-movies. Giving the love back, you know?

You think Troma movies are boring: seriously? Killer Condom is hilarious garbage! Besides, it was only distributed by Troma, it was a German film that played in theaters before they picked it up.

Surf Nazis Must Die? Tromeo & Juliet? Poultrygeist? Boring? Dave Bow, I can't believe I wrote you a valentine in this week's Mercury.
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Quit playing with my emotions c&b! Yeah, I know this film isn't directly affiliated with Troma but it's a clear influence so I thought the comparison was apt.

I like Troma fine and I appreciate Lloyd like I appreciate Roger Corman but I think a lot of the stuff both of those guys were involved with are a lot more fun in concept than execution. They were probably a blast to make, too.
BUT I've watched more stuff that Troma distributed than it's actually put out so I should probably shut my mouth 'til I catch up on more of the "classics". I always wanted to watch Surf Nazis Must Die as a kid.
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I hate you Dave Bow.
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Poultrygeist -- boring???

This is the same Poultrygeist that Stephen King wrote was "hilarious"? That the NY Times hailed as "just about as perfect as a film predicated on the joys of projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea can be"? That Entertainment Weekly wrote was "as savage as Dawn of the Dead, as slapstick nutzoid as Evil Dead 2, as gag-on-your-popcorn gross as Pink Flamingos, and as dementedly foulmouthed literate as a Kevin Smith raunchfest. It's genuine sick fun, and there isn't a boring moment in it!"

Although I will grant that Surf Nazis was a little slow. ;P

Andy Deemer
Producer, Poultrygeist
www.asiaobscura.com
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My name is Dave Bow. I'm a lonely guy who likes to pretend he has a life. Yet, when I sat in a room full of strippers, porn stars and musicians, I felt alone and isolated. This hurts me because I like to feel important.

Can't they see how my writing a review after 10 minutes of film makes me feel good about myself? Don't they understand that after I starf*cked Danny B., I split so I could head to the bar where $1 buys me the attention I crave?

Alas, I cannot understand why I do not make a living as a writer, but I do know I am important. Please tell me I am important! Please!
7
I ate brains in "Stripperland" and was at the premiere, where the theater was filled with laughter and merriment. The Baldwin sequence happens in the first 10 minutes of this 124 min. film, so this review is based on not even 10% of the film. Dave Bow obviously prefers "Glee" over cheesy gore films, http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/Blogto…
which should be noted as a disclaimer. I understand why he walked out if he prefers teenage musicals; I couldn't stomach 10 minutes of "Glee" nor climax in "gleegasm". (dave: you may like Troma-gem "Cannibal the Musical")
I appreciate horrific themes, such as blood, death and violence made into a mockery. And that is why I love Troma, but have disdain for realistic horror films. The film is not associated with Troma, other than Lloyd Kaufman's cameo. He's said of the film, "Stripperland is better than anything Troma ever made," which is a huge compliment.
"Stripperland" was well-paced with lots of jokes. There was even clever dialogue, such as why scantily clad zombies should be dubbed "strippers" or if a set of rules could apply to "women" or "strippers", when each group was composed of individuals. And of some interest to Bow, an important character is gay. But how would he know any of this when he made up his mind before I even tore into my Ju-ju-bees?
If you are a stump-town local, come out to the film and spot someone you know out of the 200 local female extras. Known dancers in the film include, Rocket and Sexy Lexie. It plays March 4th and 5th @ the Hollywood late night. Nationally, look for it in a theater near you. (*My profile pic is not from the film. I just eat brains when I can.)
8
I don't see how you can even qualify this as a "review" when he left after a mere 10 minutes. I guess he had to grab his swag and head home to his 99 cats and Glee on his DVR. Seriously, it's supposed to be a gory horror comedy spoof of Zombieland. Thankfully it is NOTHING like Zombie Strippers (entertaining the first time, but not more than that). It's not associated with Troma, it simply features Lloyd Kaufman in a cameo, alongside Daniel Baldwin, Linnea Quigley, Boyd Banks, and Thom Bray. It's not just a parady of Zombieland though as it takes pieces from several other zombie/horror movies. It's not the greatest movie ever made and it's not trying to be. One thing it has over the dozens upon dozens of horror movies I consume constantly is excellent cinematography, sound, makeup, and FX. I can't imagine he makes it through most movies if he was bored withing 10 mintues by zombies getting killed and Daniel Baldwin rapping.
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We just read a review of a horror/sex sploitation move by a guy who really, really likes Glee, and he admits does not like comedy horror/sex sploitation moves. MERCURY!!! Why did you really send a guy who really likes Glee, who writes about dancing and singing to go out to see horror film full of nubile nude women? Was Dave Bow being punished for being a Glee fan, and you thought it would be funny to send him to a horror movie?

Dave Bow name drops Troma to fake cred for reviewing this genre. He then fails to mention that the great Lloyd Kaufman, Troma's Director, was in the film. He focuses most of his article on Daniel Baldwin's short comedic cameo in the opening of the film. It does seem like he left after the first 10 minutes.
This is a great example of a reviewer not having a clue. Readers would like to have heard about the acting, comedy, sex, violence, gore, and music. The super simple solution is for really that all movie/music reviewers should have their past reviews easily accessible through online links. If readers have an idea of what the reviewers tastes and views. they can decide if it makes any sense to bother with them.
This way Glee fans can find out what else Dave Bow likes, and horror fans can stay clear.
10
A journalist would have stayed to see the whole movie and then reported accordingly. I am concerned the Mercury has low standards for their journalists especially when it comes to arts and culture reporting. My interest in their popularity contests that pose as journalism has dwindled. They are my cheap wine of papers- I will open it only if it has a good cover.
11
Considering Dave Bow doesn't have the integrity to do his job, his review "blows" even more than his assertions of the film he pretends to review. Willamette Week should be ashamed to employ this kind of schlock. Oh, this isn't Willamette Week? Well, it isn't a Troma film, either, but accuracy is not imporant here, is it Mr. Editor? What's really important is that celebrated "life to live" Dave Bow needs to get to while ripping us all off by schlepping out such a hack job of a review. Integrity, accuracy and reputability are apparently not included in that life.
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It's obvious from his comments, that he didn't even bother to watch the screen for the ten minutes that he was in the room. Daniel Baldwin in a desert? It was pretty obvious that his scene was on a farm. It was shot on Sauvie Island, to be specific. Hardly a desert there, Mr. Observant.

So you have too much of a life to live to do your job and watch the whole movie, then have the balls to say that the rest of the movie blows when you just admitted you never even bothered to watch it. Had you stuck around you would have seen a hilarious movie that Lloyd Kaufman himself admitted was better than anything Troma has ever put out. And you would have seen that there was indeed a reason within the story for Daniel Baldwin to be singing Pied Piper style to the Zimbies.

Shame on you, Mr. Bow, for your complete lack of journalistic integrity. And even more, shame on the Mercury for allowing your pop culture, Glee-loving, independent film hating(yes, I see independent films on your enemies list) ass to write a review for this hilarious independent spoof in the first place. But rest assured, I will give your future reviews, and the paper that sponsers them, the same consideration that you showed us. Which is to say, you have just lost another reader.
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and Check out Daniel Baldwin Making his Hip Hop Debut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX27qyfdI1w