Comments

1
You typed all that and didn't mention the great basketball season that we are having?!?!
2
Someone needs to assign H.C. more homework, how do kids in college have time for this nonsense. I've got a new acronym for you "WTFC", Who The Fuck Cares?
3
Yes, dear reader; you are in college, aren't you? Where "I find that offensive!" is considered an argument, and where every voice, no matter how incoherent, must be heard.

Make sure to hold a rally about this very, very important topic that impacts us all.
4
I like how none of the three posts above me address her letter's contents or Savage's advice AT ALL.
5
Because the content of her letter was basically, "WAAAHHH!!!" What are we supposed to do with that?
6
tl;dr :(
7
Thank you, Dan, for taking time to address the topic more seriously this once, even when many of your readers just want more mocking and snark.

I'd just like to add that it is not at all unreasonable to expect asexuals to disclose. Honestly, I am not sure what purpose an asexual identity serves if you don't even think your partner deserves to know.

In the situation where an asexual is hesitant to disclose, that is obviously a sucky situation for all parties involved. I hope that we can prevent this situation by treating asexuality seriously, rather than just a target of mocking and erasure.
8
'Disclosure' would be much easier if it didn't come with the amused/disbelieving/blank/offended look, followed by, "You're joking, right?" or, "Have you seen a doctor about that?" or the awkward, "Were you sexually abused as a child?" (How many homosexuals these days have to deal with these questions anymore, or defend their own family against accusations of sex abuse BY THE THIRD DATE?)

Homosexual disclosure is easier -- people understand sexual attraction. Sexual attraction to the same sexBu, shoes, women's dirty underwear -- they may be disgusted, but at least they get the idea. Not being sexually attracted to anyone at all? (It's especially hard to explain when you have a sex DRIVE, but no ATTRACTION.)

The easiest way I've been able to explain it to people is either, "Imagine you're a man in a world full of other men." (Or vice versa, the point being, the opposite of whatever flavor they prefer.) Or for the less sexually-driven, "Think of how you were as a kid. People were people, but you never really thought of them sexually." That seems to at least give them a point of real-life reference.

So hesitation is very much a part of things. Agreed, it would be great if it could be taken seriously.

Please wait...

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