I wonder how Amish instructions are for operating an IPhone.

What about obvious warnings?
Do not place package in hot oven
Do not eat package
For best results do not open with bandsaw

mmmm bandsaw

@NED LANNAMANN -- You are such a rebel. But run like hell when you see a black buggy, the hat, and a man with a beard. For not following our instructions you have earned an Amish Beat Down.

5. Receive bacon.

Go ahead and laugh. But I had a package of Kroger sliced smoked gouda and I was having the damndest time separating out the slices from the top ... until I followed the directions and flipped over the stack. So maybe it's less important for some cheeses than others.

Congratulations on your crowning achievement, supermarket cheese package blog post! Ned is the best worst writer on the whole wide intertubes!!!!