Ugh. Anyone who regularly does more than the lightest of PDA in public should be set on fire.

We all get a free pass to indulge in this once in a while when drunk, but if it's your normal practice, congratulations: you're disgusting.

But CC! What about people who have a fetish for "public humping?" Where are they to hump?

I defer, like all important life decisions, to Dan Savage on this...

"Did you think that made people jealous, or was it a cover because you lack any real substance together."

That says it all. This anon is an insecure tool.

Anonymous comes across sounding either exceedingly jealous, or genuinely a prude. It's a big park (coincidentally public space we all pay for); no one would have stopped you from moving. And sure, it was rude of them: but it's pretty clear they weren't thinking clearly or of anyone but themselves. Be the bigger person and let them be young.

Also, spit is grosser than PDA.

"...you had to come, lay your blanket directly in front of my own, and spend hours grunting and groping one another."

And, for hours, I was forced to watch! Unable to speak, transfixed by the lewd display, yet unable to leave, mesmerized by its tantalization! Forced, I tell you! For hours...

Hey, Anonypuss, it's HOCK up, not HAWK up--derived from HACK up (as in a HACKING cough), which may in turn have originated from HARKLAR LUNGA which is Swedish for "cough up a lung."

In general I agree with you, horny loungers should choose a spot as far from other people as possible. But since spitting is a felony (as my legal advisor YouKnowYouRubbedOne maintains) then simply carry a small bottle of personal lubricant and give the happy couple a little shower--that can't be more than a misdemeanor, I would think. (They may make good use of the stuff, though.)

Actually, just as I posted that "The Wife" found an "OED" entry that proves that I'm "wrong" and you're "right" about the spelling of "hawk."

Anyway, the V-necks weren't American Apparel, they were from the Gap. PROVES YOU AREN'T SO SMART, DOESN'T IT?

See Todd, that'll learn you to have a "wife."

Someone isn't getting any.

Sex park!

Apropos of lovin', I'm inspired by the featured Lovelab ad of the moment to note that I'm looking for a woman with a golden heart who will let me copper feel.