THE BLOGTOWN ETHICIST: Voodoo Line Cutting

Comments

1
Wait, are you asking if it's ok to cut because you're a) WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY from the Portland Mercury or b) because you live in Portland?
a) Yes, ok.
b)Get your ass in line.
2
Just make the quick drive across the river and get one at VooDoo Too. Chances are there is no line at that one.
3
You could also walk over to either Floyd's on 2nd and Couch or Stumptown on 3rd where they sell doughnuts. A few more steps sure, but you're about it eat a doughnut so the extra 4 calories you'll burn would come in handy. I'm in the "don't cut you buttfucker" camp. Cutting because you're a local would only exacerbate the image of us as elitist west coast snobs...
4
Cutting is for assholes. Wait until a tourist has made his purchase, walk by and go "Oh shit, is that_____???!" [who could it be? There are no Portland celebrities. Work on this part.] When he turns his head, steal his donut.

This post did not ask about the ethics of stealing donuts.
5
stab! stab!
6
...but you're not from here.
7
Nobody goes to that place anymore. It's too crowded.
8
2 lines: 1 for locals, 1 for tourists. fucktheshitoutta waiting for those goddamn californians channeling the food network.
9
Don't you have a Press Pass or something that you can use to say you are doing a Dirty Dining expose' of the place? The line should clear up a bit after that.
10
You are mother fucking WM. Steven Humphrey. I'm pretty sure you can do whatever the fuck pleases you.
11
Couldn't you just go to any number of other donut shops, most of which care more about the quality of their donuts rather than how flashy or outrageous-looking they are?
12
@ pxzxil: voodoo too??!?! are you serious?? every time i've passed by that location in the past 6 months the line is nearly out the door (and that's after snaking around a few times inside). whether it's morning, afternoon, evening, or late night; they're busy. it always goes slower since they usually have less cashiers on hand (compared to downtown). there was one time back in april where i managed to happen upon a line-less voodoo too. it was just before 7am on a weekday.
13
@ Fruit Cup
I DO do whatever the fuck pleases me. (In fact I just cut in line in front of a pregnant lady, and banged her 10 minutes later.) I'm asking if it's ethically okay for the AVERAGE Portlander (i.e. everybody else) to be able to flash their I.D., prove they're a Portland resident and then cut in line.

@ steeef
You're obstinate. I don't like that about you.
14
The crazy lines at the eastside Voodoo were mostly confined to when the downtown location was closed. WHICH, for those of us who work in spitting distance and were used to popping in for a quick donut, REALLY FUCKING SUCKED. And yes, 75% of the license plates in the parking lot were out of state, and half those were California.

I can't say I've encountered a terrible line since the downtown spot reopened.
15
I don't know, but I do have something to say about the fact that this establishment causes Portlanders to waste hours every day typing DOUGHNUT instead of the perfectly acceptable American English Common Usage spelling DONUT. All I have to say about that is UGH!
16
Is it ethical to use a photo of a Krispy Kreme in a post about Voodoo Doughnut?
17
Here's a thought for Voodoo: put some menus outside for people to read while waiting in line. Maybe include some descriptions or two. Nothing bums me out like having to wait as slack-jawed yokel tourists decipher their menu JUST as they get within eyeshot of it.

Also, if they could change their donut names to something even more offensive (i.e. "Cock-N-Balls" becomes "Really Big and Glistening Cock-N-Balls"), maybe the Christians-on-a-dare crowd will leave the line ahead of time, shortening the wait even more.
18
@Fruit Cup: Steve will someday almost certainly be stomped to death by four Hillsborillys and an elderly couple from Dubuque, but not today. NOT TODAY.
19
Unethical! But VooDoo should have 2 lines- an express one for people who know exactly what they want, and the other for tourists. The menu thing is a good idea too...
20
proof of expired tags to purchase a doughnut should be mandatory, and answering the question, what's your favorite thing about tom mccall? also, a beaver fact. cutting is legit
21
Behold, William: I present to you the Chat and Cut. Works every time!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc32Qwoa27U
22
I go by Voodoo Two on a regular basis and it's no better.
23
This is Portland:

1) Take some class at some hippie annex on how to make your own donuts out of soy and flax.
2) Make them.
3) Lecture others about how unhealthy their donuts are.
4) Feel proud of yourself.
24
Good lord. What kind of lame-ass media magnate are you? Do you think Rupert Murdoch would figure out ways to cut in line? No! He'd call them up and order up a delivery. I'm sure you can find some way to make it worth their time.
25
These are the same bridge & tunnel jerkoffs clogging up Pine State.
26
"These are the same bridge & tunnel jerkoffs clogging up Pine State. "

... Not to mention all of Mississippi ave.

I'm all for 2 lines. As long as they check ID's
27
Just whip out your dick and watch them scatter.

Do I have to think of EVERYTHING?
28
Your donuts are shit. CLOSE YOUR BUISNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
29
Re #28 I wish comments could be auto tuned.
30
IF we are going on the BIG assumption that living here entitles us to jump lines ahead of tourists (after all, we are all tourists sometimes elsewhere)
then OK, as long as you check the IDs of the other 50 people in line to make sure there are not locals waiting too.
Cutting is for assholes.
OK, this was a toungue-in-cheek article.... I know...