Aw DAMMIT! Now that silly pumpkin story counts as one of my only 20 freebie news stories from the New York Times for the month. THANKS.

Good morning! This is—sorry, hold on…

GOOD MORNING, SMIRK! GOOD MORNING, NIGHT MOVIES! HAVE WE OCTOPUSSED WALLEY SLEDS YET?!?

@NIGHTMOVES: IF YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET AROUND THE TWENTY ARTICLE LIMIT, I MIGHT SUGGEST YOU GET BETTER AT INTERENTS.

Good morning! This is my 3,000th comment here. No, really, no need to thank me.

They should have Steve Jobs lying in state at Apple HQ. It'd be like a scene from "Evita," only with the dearly departed underneath a dome of gorilla glass.

Ugandas closes last semi-legal and kind of safe gay bar only to have 5 more underground gay bars created. And most likely not so safe or legal.

Did the monster model said to her therapist she "seasoned" his husband? Geeezzzus Christ.

Sarah Palin is Dead
Steve Jobs is not running for President

DAMMIT

@Leaky: I like "Geeezzzus Christ." It seems to evoke a "geezer" Christ whom we rarely contemplate; if He came back from the dead why should He remain young and beautiful in our memories forever like Jim Morrison or Sid Vicious?

Yeah, I have fixed in my head a glass mural so to say of his image, as a Zombie walking towards the sun. Maybe elevating himself at some point into the sun. I don`t know, that scene right there helps me sleep at night better.

by yeah I mean exactly. Just trying to make it a little easier for the kids. Are any kids reading this?