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Mommy and Daddy
Want to Get Crunk and Wasted
Go to Fucking Sleep
I know you have a kid but
There's no crosswalk there
Abstinence only sex-ed
Baby in dumpster
me me me my baby me
my baby me me
Because you're a selfish jerk
Who bogarts the tits
sent by God yes baby He
made the condom break
I wish that I'd been sober
And pulled out in time
When you get older
Please don't hate your stupid Dad
Who wanted to win
off of the mother fucking
refrigerator
inside, screaming and wreckage
toys scattered everywhere
This is what I imagine:
poop poop vomit poop
Lots more years of poop
Growing up, start to break shit
Like, expensive shit
Ages five to eight
I think they do some cute stuff
Before the hormones
Then it's hell again
"MOM, I HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS"
"I LOVE MY DAD MORE"
"Oh, and by the way,
I wrecked your car yesterday
But, yay, I'm not hurt!"
Then, away to school
Out of state? Four times the cost!
It's a mixed blessing
Lastly, adulthood.
A phone call every six months?
They have their own lives.
In spite of all this
When I see a cute baby
My ovaries scream:
SEMEN! IN ME NAO!
WE MUST PRO-CREATE POST HASTE!
Too many humans?
Fuck it! I'm special!
MY genes are worth passing on.
Seven or eight times.
Finally, I'm done.
This was really way too long.
But I had some fun.
:-)
Without Social Security
They Are What Remains
anything you want. (No, not
a Republican.)
I blame the white russian I'm about to consume.