Comments

1
Breathe? Blink? Eat? Sleep? YOU MIGHT BE A TERRORIST.
2
Um, the last two bullet points there immediately bring to mind Rick Santorum. Should I call someone?
3
Look, the "chemical burns" are just from very hot, strong coffee, and the missing fingers are to keep me from flipping off people (it was getting out of hand).
4
I'm proud to meet all these criteria.

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