This is pretty half assed advice, at least on #3. If she has trouble trusting her husband to touch her vagina -- I mean, she's actually physically resisting it -- then she may have some other issues going on here. Lot of self-blame and shame here, she needs therapy to explore this some more.
3 years and a baby later she still feels judged and afraid that her husband will put it in "wrong"? It just seems like she and her husband have never talked about sex or what they like (specifically she hasn't talked about it). 22 and 23 are still young enough to fix all of that!