My long-haired cat assassinated a rug with a particularly disgusting hairball.

When I am sleeping my cat covertly burrows himself under the blankets and spoons with me but I know that he is really plotting his attempt to claw out my guts from the warmth and comfort of my bed.

I was sweeping my apartment and having a hard time getting under the dresser, so I decided to move it. That is when I discovered a small rough-cut opening in the wall. When I looked inside, I discovered a bunch of small maps and crudely drawn floor plans pinned up on the inside. Somehow, the shoe box my Asics came in was inside the wall too. There were photographs sitting on top. I didn't recognize any of the people or animals in them. When I looked inside the box, I found money, a notebook, and a few cat collars with tags; "Fluffy", "Mowzer", "Pistachio"...
"What the hell is this?" I wondered.

I'm not saying my cat is an assassin, but I have my suspicions. While I am surprised and curious, I am not going to go digging for answers. Who knows what danger that may bring. Perhaps the most surprising thing of all this is that my cat haz purfect grammar.