They always come back around. If you are patient, and willing to be unfashionable for stretches of 18 or 20 years, you will be vindicated.

They're not cool or anything, but wear whatever you want. I'm still friends with a guy who wears toe shoes (although if I had known earlier about the toe shoes, it might have precluded our friendship).

One time circa 1997 my friend Curtiss met me downtown after work for a beer. He looked at my feet and said:

"Dude, why are you sportin' the Lord Boards?"

I could get behind this concept of fashion except that it is 1) fickle and 2) wasteful.
Birks last 10 years plus, and when they finally give up, you can have the leather remade into THE SAME SANDALS. That is brilliant.

You can also grind up the cork from a pair of used Birkenstocks and smoke the powder. The high is actually super addicting. We used to smoke it on breaks when I worked part-time at Pay Less. It makes you feel creative and more sexually alive.

I'll stick with my Keens.

Yeah smoking is it is great and all- but have you ever tried snorting it?!?!?!

I'M SO HIGH I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE!!!!

At least men figuratively have good options.