fascists, usually

Second on "Fascist". Mussolini got it right, way back when. If we need to modernize, may I submit "Douchist"?

Whistle while you work
Hitler was a jerk
Mussolini beat his wheenie
And now it doesn't work

(courtesy of The Big Book of Hell. To be sang to Snow White Seven Dwarves theme)

If the government isn't pointing a gun at your employers head and forcing them to pay for you birth control, how on earth could you possibly obtain such a thing???

"Libertarian" is just what Republicans call themselves when they want to appeal to the kids.