"did not recognize Denis as anyone she knew"

Strange wording. Why not just say she "did not recognize Denis"?

Had one a cynical outlook, one might suspect that you were purposely left to sweat it out in the kettle, Mr. T.

I'm not saying I have a cynical outlook, mind you. Little Toddy Sunshine, that's me.

Christmas time is here, Denis:

http://goo.gl/AuUrGb

I'm impressed, Andy from Nutriatown!

You're the first person in maybe 25 years to stick an "e" at the end of my name as part of a schoolyard taunt. Which means you somehow think it's funny and appropriate to trade in stereotypes about women being weaker than men. That's the point of that insult, right? It's supposed to sting because you compared me with a "girl," right? And being like a "girl" is icky and unmanly, right?

You could have played that a lot of different ways, if you thought I was whining too much, without resorting to misogyny. Try harder next time.