Other people are so annoying. When the weather gets nice, and you want to go to the park, dammit, a bunch of other people show up and ruin it. Why can't they all just go away? Also, why isn't there anyplace to park when I want to go someplace fun? Because of other people going there, dammit. I am moving to Antarctica, where I can enjoy the ice floes in peace.
Oh noes! People are playing soccer and frisbee in the PARK! The public recreation area is being used for recreation! Heaven forfend such a monstrosity.
I think we should rope off this section of the park as a Broseph mating sanctuary. After all, the next generation of date rapists and mean girls has to come from somewhere.