An eight-foot shit mist that lasts two hours? That must be Roswell technology. I hate to advocate drugs, but smoke a jay and relax a little. You're well on the way to Howard Hughesian cloud-cuckoo-land.

This is not only a funny and well-written I,Anon, it's one of the few in weeks that's entirely reasonable and has some empirical basis in the actual world (not a must but certainly all-too-rare).
It seems that studies by Charles Gerba, a specialist in microbiology, showed that "bacterial and viral aerosols" due to toilet flushing landed all around the toilet and lasted at least two hours. Has this been scientifically debunked anywhere?
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1…

mythbusters busted the fecal cloud myth years ago.

I don't think it's quite as simple as that. For example:
http://www.healthiertalk.com/exposed-tooth…

But of course, people can easily research all this to their heart's content, and I'm certainly no expert.

Ooh, Ooh, lemme guess. Is it BORDERS? No, they closed. Ooooh, POWELLS!

OMG the 8 foot shit cloud shit. Lay off the Tequila bro.

8 Foot Shit Cloud was a great grunge band back in the early 90s.

What's worst unwanted cruising in the bathrooms or fecal matter on items?? I pick 8ft. shit cloud

Avoid the cloud by not flushing the toilet. There, problem solved!

#8+1 I'd rather be cruised than pooped on but, ya know, one thing can lead to another.

You are rad and I really love the phrase"chocolate hostage" Well done.