Even the ones on the doorsteps? Sure there isn't a Tyler Durden thing going on here? Try asking your customers if you've ever had sex with them.

Read the last sentence like Butt-Head. It fits perfectly.

Assuming we're taking about the Oregonian, that paper is soo shitty it's hard to imagine people even still have a subscription. Let alone anyone being up at that time of night just to steal them. Yeah, this asshole should get caught real soon.

you can gladly keep my Food Day, what a waste of paper

Nice. I like it.

Reminds me of the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when Larry invites the sex offender over for passover

Sad Mao, stop pretending you're DamosAs clone please. Its getting blown up.

If you're not I promise you Ill make it up to you with the best discounts coupons to the best origami stores I know.

Legitimate gripe. This is a hard, and very shitty job. I did it for a few months after high school. I had help and it was still awful.

My endearing fan base.