Anonymous May 16, 2012 at 5:47 pm


I'm pretty sure that at least 90% of the IA's about work are written by Mercury staffers. With that in mind: Steve, stop being such a pinchbelly and replace the motion detector.
In the land of the constipated, the man with diarrhea is king.
Why do the lights going out prolong your bowel movements, friend?
I bet this was written by a chick.
or you can shit in the darkness, that way being more Green!
@5- One could take it even further by wiping with their hand. After defecating.
yes, I guess one can make deeper efforts.
Easy solution: don't shit at work. It's nasty, and nobody likes walking into your cloud of fecal-stank afterwards anyway. Besides, you're not being paid to take a dump, so get your ass back to work.

The only people who shit at work are the fat middle-aged salesmen anyway, who see it as some sort of exercise in dick-swinging. Don't be that guy.
Don't shit at work? Is this what it has come to? I have zero problem being "that guy." Fuck your delicate sinuses, I'm a coffee drinker, dammit.
Always get paid to poop.
Never shit on your lunch break. Always shit on the clock.
If it is a merc for your life! Humphrey timed those lights so he can trap you in the bathroom and molest you! Allegedly
How much illumination does one really need in order to shit properly?

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