A Tardy Father’s Day Note To You, Dad

Comments

You're an asshole, eh? Do you ride a bike, by any chance?

Todd Mecklem on June 22, 2012 at 9:02 AM

God, you sound like a nice kid! You're such an egomaniac to think that your dad was so heartbroken because you didn't call for Father's Day -- in reality I'll bet he was thrilled to be spared from another boring, listless, self-centered conversation with you. Probably the best Father's Day gift you could've given him.

Doogie on June 22, 2012 at 9:02 AM

Maybe they do things differently.

Leaky 2.0 oz The Avatar Slayer on June 22, 2012 at 10:30 AM

speaking of days of celebration: i think it's about time that we finally give a little more consideration to celebrating 'conception days' along with birthdays.....

it doesn't have to be exact, but about 9 months before your birthday, you should call your folks and genuinely thank them -- THAT day (or night, perhaps at a drunken party) has just as much, if not more, significance than your birthday, no?.....

human in training on June 22, 2012 at 10:39 AM

John Bender: [Imitating his Father] Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk.
[Imitating his Mother]
John Bender: You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.
[Father's voice]
John Bender: Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie.
[His own voice]
John Bender: No dad, what about you?
[Father's voice]
John Bender: Fuck you.
[His own voice]
John Bender: No dad, what about you?
[Father's voice]
John Bender: Fuck you.
[His own voice]
John Bender: Dad, what about you?
[Father's voice]
John Bender: Fuck you!
[Pantomimes getting punched in the face]
Brian Johnson: Is that for real?
John Bender: You wanna come over sometime?

stjohnsrules on June 22, 2012 at 2:06 PM

"...society (whatever that means)" is where you lost everybody who isn't a teenager, just in case you're wondering.

on June 22, 2012 at 11:44 PM