Comments

1
If you just ignore cunty hipsters, the life of you and your child will be far better, trust me
2
I'm not usually an instigator for this crap, but christ this shit is pissing me off.

So, your don't discipline your child for fear of the general public judging you for being "too strict"? Discipline starts at home. You are with your child on a daily basis. Therefore you shouldn't have to deal with your child acting up in public because he or she already knows not to.

No one is asking you to be a perfect parent, because of course there is no such thing. And true, no one listens to others when they're told "This is what you should do as a parent." But there is also this thing called "common sense".

So, kudos to you. Don't discipline your kid. Let them do whatever the hell they want. All out of spite towards society. Don't think about the harm you are doing to your kid by raising them this way. And the harm they do to other kids because they never learned to not to hit when they're angry, or not to throw things at others. You're much better than the rest of us. So of course your kid will be, too.
3
Can we please have a moratorium on breeder vs non-breeder posts?
4
My glasses are prescription yo. I smell a threatened parent who doesn't want to admit that yeah, it is rude foisting your children on people in places that are not exactly "family dining venues."
If you can buy and consume bloody marys with your toddler a foot away...I wouldn't classify the eatery as such.

I'm not coming up in your kid's playground with a 40 and saying I have as much right to be there. Take your kids where people will expect and put up with them.
Since there was a clear reference to my comment in the last motherfucking post about this I shall respond:

Getting kicked, crawled on, stuff and cups full of hot tea and water knocked off our table and we were still trying to be polite; to the point where the *staff* comped us without our saying anything...I would draw a clear conclusion there. The kid was being a shit, the mom was a shitty parent, and the employees felt bad for us.
We tipped em', too.

5
My god. Just get a sitter then everyone is happy.
6
"I smell a threatened parent who doesn't want to admit that yeah, it is rude foisting your children on people in places that are not exactly "family dining venues." "

Exactly. Something touched a nerve and sparked a heated post to stand on it's own. Odds are this person knows they're lazy when it comes to disciplining their child. I hate to make general assumptions about people because I like to think that I'm not an ignorant asshole,. But this anon is being quite obvious that they felt they were personally attacked in previous post. Therefore leading us to assume that they know they are the kind of parent that is being bitched about.
7
Oh snaps! Kay_b for the obvious win.
8
As another anonymous parent and one that had kids from meeting his wife from this fucking lovelabs joint, this is really a non issue isn't it. Hipster joints are easy to avoid and obviously not kid friendly since MOSTLY they are bars or crowded french press cafes. Portland actually goes out of its way to accomodate young families with play areas surrounded by IPAs and a bar behind a wall so hipsters and people with young kids can all get their crunk on. Yes I am not a hipster but I am also not white trash and I also don't frequent Chick-fil-a.
9
Jesus, just stay in Vantucky or Gresham or Beaverton, can you? There are TONS of IHOPs and Denny's and Red Robins for you to have a delicious breeder 'brunch' with your brat in tow.
10
This Anon submission only validates the notion that most parents are nothing more than petty kids who can't handle parenthood being mocked online without doubling down on their own insecurities and childish antics ("Iโ€™m going mutter to myself, โ€œyou are fucking welcome for the free brunch, douche bagโ€" <- typical of self loather, wants everyone else to share their misery).

Nothing like mommy going to breakfast, hoping her kid is annoying random strangers, slurping down some breakfast bloody marys then driving with her kid in the car. Keep it classy, moms! You're doing a fantastic job at convincing the rest of us you're all grown up! lofl.
11
I hope you enjoy your brunch anonymous!
12
Well, you live in a city where 30-somethings dress like kindergarteners and drink and smoke and fuck around like they're sixteen-- of course you feel like you're missing out. Everyone else is enjoying Adolescence Part Deux, you're changing diapers and screeching commands at some brat that you've self-diagnosed with spectrum disorder, gluten allergy and morgellon's. Sucks, right?
13
Dogs and children, both exist in their own world. Neither should run wild. Don't get mad if I knock your kid over or kick your dog as I walk by. Teach them respect or they will be trampled.
14
"Iโ€™m going to drink Bloody Maryโ€™s because I deserve them."


Wow, entitled much, lady? I suppose you also deserve to be able to inflict your "breeder rights" upon the rest of us and the planet at large, right? You feel like you "DESERVE" special status/treatment simply b/c you've demonstrated that you're capable of doing something that every other living organism on Earth can do - self-replicate?

It's awful enough that you receive a tax incentive just for that. I don't get an extra $1000 a year for being Black. YOU shouldn't get an extra grand just for reproducing.
15
My brunch was delicious, thank you. Only no bloody mary's (had to drive... which I deserve because I'm an adult). My kid sat quietly and sweetly next to me playing iPhone games (I'm sure some portlander has an opinion on that) because, believe it or not, the person that wrote this post is a consistent disciplinarian who respects public space, but also her child.

The earlier post was extremely entertaining to me, particularly the comments. I am equally entertained by the comments here. You know why I'm so entertained? None of you live in my home so I don't give a fuck what you think about my parenting... and yet all of you have an opinion.

He's vaccinated, you know. He also drinks pasteurized milk and eats wheat and dairy products on a daily basis. OH! And he's medicated... yep, MEDICATED. You don't know what for, but I'll bet a bunch of you will have an opinion about it. Assumptions, opinions; opinions, assumptions... all coming from people who have never had a child in their care for more than a few hours. My brain cells were fried at the moment of conception and your brain works better than mine, you'd better use your better brain to save my child from a crappy adulthood. Quick, give me your genius opinions.

PS. I would not be caught dead in an IHOP (unless it is the one across the street from Disneyland).
16
As a Portlander I feel the need to have an opinion about your child's i-phone games. So in my opinion, he should be playing words with friends and not angry birds.
17
Oh god can someone just shut this entitled bitch up? "I wouldn't be caught dead in an IHOP." Well now Ms Non-Hipster-Fancypants!

You're an idiot. You are such a fierce tigress defending your motherhood and the triumphs and struggles therein...hipsters don't want your brat around during lunch! GASP!
Wait...where is little (insert lil' shit's name here) doing while you're arguing with strangers on the internet?

STELLAR PARENTING, another fine example. The fuck do you want, a medal for pushing a baby out of your vagina? Recognition for fulfilling the human biological imperative?

Just have some respect and common courtesy while dining out, not schadenfreude that your child is annoying others instead of you parenting them like a proper adult.

Also, IA is supposed to stand for anonymous, not "they didn't agree with my post so I'm going to snark back under an unregistered screen name. Pussy.
19
Ha. Like i know who sugarspill is in real life. Does calling me names and being rude to me fulfill something for you? Mommy issues? I find your attitude and need to judge me humorous. Get over yourself.

News flash: restaurants are in public. I might be there with a CHILD.
20
Oooh, a threat and then something neutral-ish. You realize that they log and track IP addresses right?

And call me a hipster all you want. Owie, my big fat hipster feelings! I wear glasses and am somewhat stylish, I should OBVIOUSLY be shot by a firing squad for being anything close to a hipster.
Let's come back around to the point that you had to make an entire post based on comments from a previous post. I'll be you're frothing at the mouth and this is the highlight of your day.

I feel sorry for you. Also, I will no longer feed the troll. Buh-bye sweetie!
21
Oh but one more thing. I love my Mom. She buys me socks and sends me thinking of you cards. She's adorable. No Mommy issues here! Love you MOM!
22
More assumptions. Track those ip addresses, honey, I've got nothing to hide. One of those comments is from me. I am not threatened by you, so why would I threaten you?

Enjoy your cards and socks and the fond memories of eating brunch with mom in a public restaurant. I wish you well and hope the children you bare someday will be well-behaved angels. For real.
23
I have a feeling most of this is in your head. Self conscious much?
24
I can't hear you! Trol-lo-lo-lo-la!
25
JERKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Both y'all!!!!
26
Well, at least this post and the one it's responding to have a healthy, highly generalized hatred of hipsters in common. FIGHT THE REAL PROBLEM!

27
I call shenanigans. No parent waits in line for two hours for brunch with kids in tow.
28
Most parents I know...sort of resent being tied down to a degree, but love their kid(s) and are good, well-rounded parents. However, I have noticed a bit of martyrdom leaking through: "Wow, must be nice to be able to GO OUT on a FRIDAY night until 3am..."...or, "Yeah, I'd LOVE to be able to go to Sunday brunch...but, some of us don't have it so easy...must be nice". Well, fuck you. Yes, most of us that don't have kids are pretty self obsessed...what the fuck else are we gonna be obsessed with?? Your fucking kid?? Nope. You and your little precious aren't the center of the universe either...Just like Buddy Holly glasses guy and Janeane Garofalo girl aren't. The difference is: If you're kid is screaming at the top of its lungs in a public place.......IT BECOMES THE CENTER OF ATTENTION...in the unpleasant kind of way. Part of me actually gets this I,A...there is a snobbish "You have one of THOSE" vibe around town. But, there's also the entitled parent vibe that exudes an "I'm more important than you because I'm raising one of THESE" sentiment. That is equally disgusting. In my book, we're all in this together. If everyone had a kid, this world/town would suck even worse...if none of us had kids...the human race would eventually die off. In the meantime, I have no qualms with drinking my precious Americano in the midst of reasonably behaved parents and children...especially if the mom has those tight yoga pants.

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