Both ends of these transactions are a farce: the panhandler is not going to get clean and open a savings account with your $0.57; you know this but feel obligated to give them money anyhow because they've approached a stranger in public and laid down a very emotionally charged appeal.
So stop saying you're sorry. You're not sorry, and you're not required to be. Learn to say "nope" (or "no thanks" if you're worried about manners) and leave it at that.
There's a guy outside the Pearl safeway that I always give money to because he uses it to buy weed, and that's a plight I sympathize with. If you need a room to stay in or a meal, tough shit. You need trees? I got you.
When did everyone get hyper-literal about the word "sorry"? You just say it to show you are aware that you're making the other person sad. It's not a magic word that you can only utter when feeling genuine remorse... right?
Saying "I'm sorry" is pretty fucking meaningless when you say it to a panhandler. You have money and you're not giving them any, even a few cents? You don't really feel bad for them. Similarly, they know they aren't entitled to your money; they take whatever they can get.
End result: you're not sorry and they aren't sad. At least not in a genuine sense, and that goes for both parties. It's not like you accidentally spilled someone's drink or broke your friend's nose. You chose not to give money. "Sorry" means you're open to hearing a sob story. I guess if you wake up in a pre-guilted condition every morning you might dig hearing that sort of garbage; I, for one, do not.
I used to say sorry, but then when I said it to someone once he jumped up and yelled "Don't feel sorry for me asshole!" Ok, fine. And then when I stopped saying sorry and just walking on by, another young man yelled "hey asshole, I exist, you can at least acknowledge me. "
It's like the homeless are individuals or something. And apparently, I'm an asshole.
I figure they must have burned a lot of bridges to get where they are. Maybe I'm privileged or something but seriously whose family or friends wouldn't give them a meal unless they fucked all of their families and friends over pretty badly.
I've just started shaking my head "no" and keep walking. After getting asked for something an average of 6 times a day...I really don't give a shit if I hurt someone's feelings. There are folks on the street that are nice and I am nice in return. There are folks on the street that are rude and threatening for no reason. I sometimes tell them to fuck off if its warranted. Mostly its total strangers approaching total strangers...on the fucking street. 98% of what they say is a lie. It has to be. Few say: "I fucked up my life majorly in 1989 and have never recovered. I'm a registered sex offender and can't get work. Can you please help me out?"...Maybe I walk too much in this town.
So stop saying you're sorry. You're not sorry, and you're not required to be. Learn to say "nope" (or "no thanks" if you're worried about manners) and leave it at that.
I feel bad when I laugh.
End result: you're not sorry and they aren't sad. At least not in a genuine sense, and that goes for both parties. It's not like you accidentally spilled someone's drink or broke your friend's nose. You chose not to give money. "Sorry" means you're open to hearing a sob story. I guess if you wake up in a pre-guilted condition every morning you might dig hearing that sort of garbage; I, for one, do not.
It's like the homeless are individuals or something. And apparently, I'm an asshole.