Anonymous Nov 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Comments

1
You are a fucking idiot, son. So it's the morning after the first time you two had sex and you take it upon yourself to surprise fuck her while she's still sleeping, without even knowing if it's ok, just because you two were 'experimenting with each other' the night before? And then when she clearly struggles to get away you.... HOLD HER DOWN?

This is what happens when retarded hipsters assume everyone buys into Dan Savage's lame advice. Not everyone is kinky and what you did was so obviously out of line and wrong. The fact you seem so vexed as to why she freaked out is the cherry on top. Stop dating. Forever.
2
I don't think that Dan would approve of this, any regular reader would know that Dan would probably agree with the rapist label in this case @arenit.
3
Dan's advice sucks. It always has. Last month he told a woman who was dating a pro-life guy to fake a pregnancy just to see his reaction. Classy stuff.
4
Sickest I,A ever.
5
You are lucky the poor woman did not take a literal 2x4 to your worthless pinhead. Yeah, you might want to start scraping together some bail money.
6
Well, sex without consent is rape, and sleeping people are unable to consent, so I'd say you've earned the title "rapist."

If the victim does read this, as you apparently hope she does, here is my message to her: Take a screen shot of this page. Print it out and bring it to the police station. Then press charges.
7
Arenit: The only idiot assuming that anyone involved in this "bought into" Dan Savage's advice is you.
8
^^ Good one bro.

*golf clap*
9
Congrats Dipshit, you just committed the crime of Rape I. I hope she reports it and you go to jail.
10
Eep. This one will be taken down later this afternoon, I bet.
12
As Torgo points out, the difference between doing kinky things the night before, and climbing onto a sleeping woman is consent.
14
The safety word is banana.
15
What is she, a Tree Blabbly?
16
A rapist saying "I can't believe this is happening to me!". Now I've heard everything.

Wow.
17
Something similar happened to me but not quite as ridiculous ..This one night, this girl and I were having the sexy time. She told me verbally with her mouth and voice to smack her ass during the sexy time. So I did but I don't really get into hitting the person I'm having sex with..doesn't really add up for me for some reason..anyways she fucking loved it. Keep in mind here I wasn't wailing on her or anything, more like 25% .With a little technique you can get quite the smack sound on that ass with minimal effort, more of a glancing blow than anything. Anyways. Next morning we're in the kitchen and I was making breakfast for us while she was getting ready for a shower. She came in and took the wooden spoon out of my hand and gave me a little playful tap on the rear end and kissed my neck. I turned around and grabbed the spoon from her and kissed her back. As she was walking away a gave her a little smack with the spoon..very lightly. The spoon had grease on it..I didn't want it to imprint on her jammies. She spun on me and her face went white and she screamed, "don't you ever fucking hit me!" I was fucking baffled.

The lesson is: The woman decides if you're the raper or not. Men don't get to decide because men don't fear being raped..we don't walk around with fear of being beaten up by women (for the most part) Women have this fear, rightfully so. Most men are physically stronger than most women. It's not fair--but it's truth. So ladies be reasonable, and gentleman try to be gentleman. Certainly sneak fucking someone early in your relationship is pretty risky business dude regardless of what happened the night before. And holding her down, that's a flaw in your personality there..if you would have stopped immediately perhaps, PERHAPS you wouldn't be in this predicament.
18
beebopboop: no, in your case you did nothing wrong. Instances like that are actually blessings in disguise cause it lets you know right off the bat if you're dealing with an emotional nut job type of woman.
19
Been with my wife for 13 years and we've done (do) some crazy shit. That said, I would never consider "surprise fucking" her while she was asleep.
If this gal reads this, and I hope she does: Here's hoping you get surprised fucked in the shower in prison you fucking asshole.
20
This is why the kinksters insist on negotiation. And, that thing, what was it, uhh, hmm, oh yeah right-----SAFEWORDS. Seriously, two kinky people who can't work out some boundaries and protocols to keep something like this from happening after 3 dates... that's a collective failure.

But that woman didn't deserve the trauma. You wanna wear the vest, Anonymous, the buck stops with you. Stop whining and figure out how to make this right.
21
Dammit Geo, you totally fucked up this time. Hope your ass doesn't go to jail, for your sake!

And Arenit, you were 100% spot on in your first post... to a point. THEN, you preceded to go off on this weird random tangent about Dan Savage and how he would "approve" of rape (which is bullshit so fuck you for that), then continued said tangent for several more posts. What fucking gives, dude?
22
P.S.

Please write in Damos Abadon for the position of Director - Zone Two, of the East Multnomah Soil and Water Conservation District. on your ballot today.
23
Ohh yes. Google me people! Here is another goofy blogger name I use! now you can stalk/google me even more!
Look at all my nifty goth outfits!








*It's always and only about me me me me!!!

24
Jamdox, while you are mostly right with your post, I would like to point one thing out: A safe word would not have helped in this case, because it was already rape before she was conscious enough to say the safe word. Sex with a sleeping person is rape, and no safe word can change that. A sleeping person cannot consent, and sex without consent is rape.

The only way that sex with a sleeping person might not be rape is if the person gives explicit consent ahead of time. Of course, that brings on a host of different problems (e.g. Is the consent still valid at the time of the act? How can the sleeping person revoke consent? Did they consent to the exact thing that is being done to them? And don't think that getting consent in writing solves anything. It doesn't). Some sex is just legally (and morally) risky, and if that's what you prefer, then you need to be aware of the risks. Remember this: Even if a person signs a contract saying, "I surrender my right to consent, and I want to be raped by you," they still actually have the right to consent and the right to change their mind at any time. Usually, that's where a safe word is really helpful. But that's also why sex with a sleeping (or unconsious) person is particularly risky. Even if the sleeping person consented in advance, the sleeping person still has the right to revoke consent, but is not able to communicate the revocation. So, this creates a situation where the non-sleeping person might be raping the sleeping person without knowing it (and yes, you can rape someone even if you don't know that you're raping them). A good rule of thumb is this: If you can't think of how your partner would tell you "no," then what you are about to do is probably rape.

In any case, another thing that is important for all people to remember in all cases is that consent on one occasion does not equal consent for all occasions. In other words, "she said it was okay last time," is not ever a valid excuse. So, this guy's claim that she was into some kinky and experimental stuff the night before does not mean that she consented to anything the next morning.
25
How is fucking someone who's asleep even remotely hot? Their eye boogers staring you down, their mouth breathing, the hot-garbage breath, the snoring, no make-up, face bloated from all the drinking the night before. It just seems like the worst idea ever.
26
Jeez arenit,

You are fucking creepier than the I,A. Give it a rest.
27
Yes, I share an opinion different than yours so now I'm "creepy" - makes a lot of sense.
28
Please write Todd Mecklem on the back of your hand with a Sharpie, just because I need the exposure.
29
It seems most here get it Anon...it is about consent. What you did can in fact be called just what it was. You should figure this out before you assualt someone else
30
Wow, I have bad news for you bro. You're a rapist now bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. RAPIST.
31
beebopboop, your post is utter bullshit.
32
I'm not kidding either. You're a grade A rapist.
33
Paint Huffiington,

I indirectly touched on many conversation topics in my post sooooo you're going to have to be a little more specific if you would like me to engage with you and open a can of literal whoop ass on you.

Thaaaaaanks
34
This column seriously needs to be renamed "I, Sociopath."
35
Beebopboop - look up the definition of "literal".
36
What a creep.
37
I can see clearly that these events didn't go as this I,A wrote.
38
Yes. "Rapist." It's exactly right. You should spend some time figuring out why that's so, and why you're so defensive. For the sake of women everywhere, and also so maybe you won't be such a creep in the future.

Please wait...

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