Anonymous Nov 26, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I've Been Having Sex With A Sexy Classmate

Anonymous
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Comments

1
You know, sometimes when I hit "publish" on these things, I feel like I'm pushing someone out in front of a train. This is one of those times.
Wm. Steven Humphrey on November 27, 2012 at 8:36 AM Mercury Staff
2
Dear Penthouse Forum:

You'll never believe what happened to me today!
pdxMB on November 27, 2012 at 9:36 AM Report this
3
Yur dum.
Marq on November 27, 2012 at 9:36 AM Report this
4
TL;DR - Ugly dude gets laid; complains to internet about it. Internet rips him a new one.
mars on November 27, 2012 at 9:50 AM Report this
5
Option 1: Be a man, get a spine, tell her you don't want to hook up anymore.

Option 2: Next time she wants to hook up, don't show up. Repeat. She will get the hint eventually.

My advice: Take option 1.

Also, if she only sees you as a fuck buddy you don't need to worry too much about hurting her feelings. She'll find a new one.
rottentangerine on November 27, 2012 at 10:23 AM Report this
6
So let's run this shit down:

You're fat and women won't touch you
Sexy girl fucks you but you think it's "not right"
You continue this "not right" thing for 2 months
Now you can't stop thinking about her


99.9999999% of the populace would say "hey, cool, she's sexy, she wants my dick in her and she's sane.. I'm such a lucky guy" - but your Jabba the Hut ass wants to dump her off. The problem is all you buddy. Fear of intimacy, fear of getting hurt, fear she'll find out you read 50 shades of grey (come on son), or fear that OMG U FELLZ IN LUV OMG SCURRRD
arenit on November 27, 2012 at 10:27 AM Report this
7
hmmm -- I'd say 'count your blessings' ya dumbfuck.
Doogie on November 27, 2012 at 12:18 PM Report this
8
Dream on.
Tillamook Transplant on November 27, 2012 at 2:39 PM Report this
9
Sure, it starts with "50 Shades of Gray," but before long she'll be having you re-enacting episodes of "Charles in Charge." GET OUT NOW!!!
Todd Mecklem on November 27, 2012 at 2:47 PM Report this
10
If this is real, enjoy your last mediocre lay.....
Geo Liquor on November 27, 2012 at 4:12 PM Report this
11
I don't understand what the problem is. Some sort of irrational guilt, I guess?
jamdox on November 27, 2012 at 6:14 PM Report this
12
Can't wait for his next IA that will start out something like: "My dick is dripping, smells really bad, and feels like I'm pissing battery acid when I pee..."

Enjoy your trip to the Dick Doctor, dummy.
on November 27, 2012 at 7:13 PM Report this
13
Jarhead: That's not fair... when he said "girl next door" I didn't think he was referring to a Gresham neighborhood.
arenit on November 27, 2012 at 8:40 PM Report this
15
I don't know what light sex is but I really hope it's dry humping. This sounds like it was written by a dude that has definitely never had sex.
Aestro on November 27, 2012 at 9:32 PM Report this
16
jake: in natural juces, rather than a sugar syrup.
AlaskanNow on November 28, 2012 at 12:07 AM Report this
17
Wow, how did I not see this is totally fake? Eegads...
jamdox on November 28, 2012 at 1:06 AM Report this
18
This must have been written by an 8th grader.
on November 28, 2012 at 10:11 AM Report this
19
Not only do I choose to believe this is real, but I choose to believe this was posted by the guy working down the hall from me.
rottentangerine on November 28, 2012 at 11:53 AM Report this
20
jake, I thought light sex was when you come really fast in a vacuum. (Don't tell Mom!)
Todd Mecklem on November 28, 2012 at 12:21 PM Report this
21
ahahaha shut the fuck up you idiot.
Paint Huffington on November 28, 2012 at 12:41 PM Report this
23
have you check your bank account(s) lately?
buddy on November 28, 2012 at 2:14 PM Report this
24
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?…
Light sex is not real, but might i suggest the bracelet sex! (thats on the skunz bucket list now) And stop being so up tight Young Jedi, just appreciate that someone actually likes you, more then you like you! (cant she just have that?)
Stephonknee Wells Kunz on November 28, 2012 at 5:50 PM Report this
25
I jacKed off to it, then your comments......some good jackin to be had here.
on November 28, 2012 at 7:08 PM Report this
26
you dislike my comment? hey.. go (be a lady steph) go "beep" yourself! ANONYMOUS ON MON, NOV 2 needs us! we're a wolf pack damn it, and when sexy "sexy" says yes... we encourage damn it! (pdx, you make me so sad!!)
The Bracelet?, that is a GREAT IDEA! smh!!!!
Stephonknee Wells Kunz on November 29, 2012 at 12:34 AM Report this
27
Pretty sure this is fake, anyways.
DamosA on November 29, 2012 at 1:01 AM Report this
28
Aaestro, I came to the same conclusion
on November 29, 2012 at 4:45 PM Report this

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