Anonymous Nov 29, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Comments

1
Before everyone rips this apart, I have to say: THIS is what I,A is for!
2
My first job in high school, when I was a black metal potsmoking overlord, was at a dry cleaner checking in clothes in the back. Made about 50-100 cash each day from cash people left in pant and shirt pockets.. once found 5 Mont Blanc pens (about $200 each, though I returned em because overlords write in blood not ink), and another time 5 grams of coke (overlord kept).
3
So do those machines finally give out bills larger than a $5? I made the mistake of getting $80 back once at a self-checkout in Fred Meyer and the machine almost choked on the wad it was trying to deal out to me one Lincoln at a time.
4
I think this is an IA win.
5
I'm going to call bullshit on this one. $40 - $1000 daily in unclaimed cash? Riiight. You wish.

But one thing IA failed to explain is: HOW does he/she manage to get the money before the NEXT customer swoops in?
6
what warrants use of the word "bitches"? Edgy!
Also, you're all wrapped up in loser.
7
I hate to say it, but I think Damosa is right. Plus, they have so many cameras monitoring the U-Scan area and I'm certain security would find out if you were taking "$40-$1000 daily". Please, honey.
8
This one time at Freddies, I grabbed a shopping cart from the lot and it had one of those reusable fabric shopping bags in it that someone had left behind. BOOM, NEW BAG 4 ME. I pocket up to $0.99 of bags when I shop. suck it bitches.
9
I was in the parking lot of a Whole Foods once and found a shopping cart that some dick had abandoned right in the way of the bike racks, and it had an unopened bottle of Makers Mark in the little child-seat rack thing. That so made my day that I'll probably remember it for the rest of my life.

Also: "Cash Money Bitches," wasn't that the name of one of those Insane Clown Posse movies? Oh no, that was Big Money Hustlas.
10
I once found an unopened bottle of whiskey on the back seat of a Trimet bus, and I turned it in to the driver. And I've regretted it ever since.
11
5,7 obliviously you both live in a fantasy world..."there's cameras"...."how do they manage to get the money?".....

It's called a grift. Look into it.
12
Actually what he describes isn't a grift.
13
Actually blab, considering how long it's been going on, it's a grift. Look into it.
14
Haven't you all found change in the return tray, even at the full service check stand? I'll bet lots of customers walk away from change from a twenty, but the customer service clerk is watching closely for that, and quickly swoops in before the next customer. You seen it happen before your eyes, buttt didn't think anything of being cut off by the clerk who seemed to be just fixing something.
15
I left a $20 at the Meyer on 39th once. I came back 20 minutes later, and they had saved it for me. Awwwwwwww.
16
Totally fake. No one ever steals. Ever.
17
A grift is a conning someone out of money with deception. This is stealing. Look into it.

And I don't think I believe it either. I would notice a clerk jumping in to take money, then I would watch what they do with it.
18
Afew monthes ago, i found a pair of Timberland shades on the seat of a bus. They were just laying there, so i grabbed 'em - didn't even turn 'em in. Turns out, it's a pretty spendy brand.

SUCK IT BITCHES! I GOT'S MUTHAFUCKIN' TIMBERLANDS!!!
19
So you're the one who got that last hundy I pulled out for my rent. Shit. Well, I should have paid attention and retail blows so...enjoy. Until your employers catch you and use this as evidence. I believe IP logging is standard on these.
20
I am calling fake on this. If somehow this is true, you are a douche bag Anon

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