This isn't a Portland problem, it's a human being problem.

That said, one of my best friends from high school was an after-hours janitor for some corporate bank offices for a couple of years (shitty job market, it was all he could find) and he said the women's bathrooms were far worse than the men's. The stories.. oh the stories he told. From urine 'drizzling' all over the sides of the bowl from women "hovering", chicken bones jammed down into the little slot that houses the wax paper toilet seat protector sheet things, smeared period blood in the stalls, fast food wrappers that wouldn't flush and clog the bowls, you name it. I guess women are self conscious about letting other women see them eating food, especially 'bad' food, so they eat it in secrecy in the bathroom. Oh women...

Reading that post was hard slogging with no payoff, kind of like fellating a plantain.

Is it still okay to leave a turd on the rim of the toilet bowl? I see this from time to time, yet nobody ever talks about it.

If you're getting shit on the actual rim you clearly need way more fiber in your diet. Your poop should slide out of your butt like your innards are lubed with astroglide. If you're straining and pushing and your turd is coming out at a snail's pace then you're eating a bullshit diet and you need to up the roughage in your diet or start taking fiber supplements.

Once you get the right fiber content in your diet you can sit down, shoot a couple bulky logs out in under 30 seconds, and wiping is a breeze. If you're one of these people who goes through a quarter of a toilet paper roll at once, EAT MORE FIBER.

Arenit- I just assumed people sometimes have bad aim when taking a hovershit.

I actually call people out on it. When I enter a stall that has a pissy seat, I back up and shame at the fucker. Sheepish little fuckers still probably have mommy do their laundry.

I think a guardian angels type militia aimed at making people aim would be a good idea, or a tv show like "to catch a predator". That might help.

I saw a guy at a bus stop do an amazing job of peeing out the bottom of his trouser leg once. Barely dampened his actual clothes.

I miss the the soccer field "stealth pee". There's also the pissing-into-a-rolled-up-newspaper option for when you are in the stands and don't feel like waiting in line for half an hour.

I think public restaurants should install Japanese-style toilets. Kinda hard to bitch about peeing on the seat when there isn't one.

I don't know if Mecklem came up with that line himself, but I vote for "fellating a plantain" as analogy of the week...