Hope things get much better for you - maybe your suicide not working out is a sign that you are not meant to go yet - your mind and body still want to live.
You are alive for a reason. You are as much a part of this world as that crisp air, or the beautiful sky, or any of the people around you. You belong here just as much as any of those things.
As someone who has lost loved ones to suicide and who has attempted it themselves all I can say is don't do it. It's not weak to admit you need help or that life isn't turning out the way you wanted it to. Talk about it with someone, anonymously if you must. You'd be surprised about how much of a positive experience that simple act can be.
Please seek help Anon, with clarity you will see that your life is not as hopeless as you believe. Realize you are here for a reason, not an accident. I really don't want to see you on the news, so please seek help
There isn't much I can say, other than you're not alone. There are people that love and care about you more than you realize. They will be there for you if you take the brave step of reaching out to them. Trust me.
Seriously, who are the sick fucks that are disliking the positive comments left in response to this anonymous post? Someone sends out a cry for help, looking for a little support, and Mercury Readers quickly respond with offers of help and thoughts of support, and then you actually take the time to "dislike" their comments? FUCK YOU!
You've hit your bottom and now you need to get out of it. While you do, you will learn how to adapt to all the crap that put you down there, you'll have a huge set of skills that will make your life better. Talk to people (even Steve will do, I bet he's got stories), Google up some low-fee counseling.
Anon, five years ago I was in the blackest hole of my life. Jobless, surrounded by empty bottles, and had isolated myself from all my friends. I tried to get out of it with a different method than you, and was unsuccessful due to some quick action from a good person. Today I have a wonderful wife, some animals, a job that pays the bills, and most of all, my life.
If you're still alive, you have to do something about it. There's people who depend on your continued existence whom you haven't even met yet. Take care.
Please reach out. Please get help. Please stay here.
You are needed and absolutely not alone.
Please keep living.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVzCrrn1LAk…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7Qb_1OUXM4…