"I wash my hands BEFORE I touch my dick!"

-Don King, on why he doesn't wash his hands after going to the bathroom.

This has to be the stupidest I,A. Wash your god damn piss-covered hands, cretin.

Next time just say "Don't worry, I'm wearing a condom" and walk out while his brain is frozen.

This is fucking funny! You get a like on facebook, so my friends can read this! You never know, i may have a few penis having Bff's that are willing to combatively draw protesting signs with you.

"My junk is dope, say no to soap"

uh, wash your fucking hands, dude. it takes 30 seconds.

i will say, however, that other people in the bathroom accosting people for not washing their hands are way out of line. DO NOT SPEAK OR MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH OTHER MALES IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM. he obviously never read logan's run.

I GUARANTEE THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN. MEN ARE ALWAYS THE ONES TO NOT WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER THEY TOUCH THEIR DICKS.

Under the rules of formal logic, it is true to say that women never wash their hands after touching their dicks.

I also wash my hands before touching my dick, and may or may not wash afterwards depending on splashing, motion sensors, etc.

"Gross" is for cretins.

Ugh, what is it that like 99% of men are convinced that their dicks are totally clean, or at least can't be bothered to wash after peeing?

If you had ever sucked a dick, you would be well aware of how not clean ALL of them are.

So tell me, sir of the impeccably clean dick, does your shit not stink?

What business is it of ours if this guy's dick tastes like shit?

I agree with Anonymous, but only insofar that the weird dude yelling at him was a freak.

But Anonymous and I part ways on not-washing-hands-after-touching-dick. I wouldn't yell at Anonymous, like the freak did in the PSU bathroom -- instead I would quietly judge him (in a passive-aggressive manner) and maybe even scowl and then I'd tell everyone I know "that dude over there doesn't wash his hands after taking a piss".

Who gets piss all over their hands when they pee? You gotta get your damned hands out of there! If you are just holding the penis, and the penis is clean.... There are more germs on the sink faucet handle than my dick. Just sayin...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.....TL;DR.....Fuck that -- this is an important issue, man -- this is no time for brevity.

Wow -- i never imagined that i had anything in common with Don King, and certainly not when it comes to penile sanitation methodology.

For example: I'll be in, say, a bowling alley (where your hands get super filthy from all of the oil on the lanes and/or from the greasy chili dog someone ate before sticking their nasty fingers into the bowling ball you're now using) and go to take a piss; BEFORE doing so, however, i wash my hands and am always amazed at how gray the sink turns as i scrub that gunk off -- no way am i going to get that shit all over my shit. Most people, though, just go straight to the urinal. Sick. (As FWTBT noted: what a horribly inconsiderate way to behave in regard to they that might pleasure you filthy bastards later on...)

Also, something else that most fail to realize or care about (whether in a bowling alley, or not): anyone who grabs the door handle on the way out without using a paper towel as a barrier negates any good that washing their hands might've done -- many a dirty creature grabbed that same handle after taking a shit (and failing wash their hands afterward). Same goes for turning off the water faucet. Paper towels, forearms, and feet are our friends, people.

What? You think i'm suffering from OCD? Nah, i just refuse to pretend that most of us aren't unbelievably disgusting. And i bet i get sick less often because of it, too.

Dude! Your ignorance is astounding! Your dick is filthy with your own e. coli. By not washing your hands you are forcing anyone that uses that door handle after you, that shakes your filthy hands, and anything else you touch and contaminate after, to also "share" your e. coli. Quit being such a douche bag and wash your hands!

Toilet police are everywhere, nowadays. Usually they are officially employed as janitors, but are instructed by higher ups to take note of patrons' bathroom habits. Instead of doing a decent job of keeping the restrooms clean, these Einsteins follow you in just to make sure that you aren't whacking off, shooting up, changing cloths, or taking a sponge bath in the stall. They listen attentively, and take big whiffs. Then they pretend to wash their hands, exit the facility, and write up an incident report.

Then there are the dipshits who sit on the can while talking on their cell phone. I always make sure to flush a toilet (with the bottom of my shoe), even if I'm just combing my hair, so that who ever it is that they are talking to knows exactly how much respect they are getting.

Caution: Never borrow a cell phone.