I read this like:

Bluba bluba bluba. Blu blu bla bla. Blem blem blem blem blipo. ipso icto ad nauseaum...

And Amsterdam can never be like Portland, I guess. Come'on!

You love your little sense of smug, dontcha?

You appear to be confusing 'smug' with 'douche'.

Is it also a Euro-trend to bike around with a cat on your shoulder? If we must accessorize with animals while barreling helmetless through the streets let's try something creative like a cheeseburger on the head or a vest made of hotdogs.

I guess the IA poster hasn't ever been to Amsterdam. Yeah, everyone bikes, walks, or trains it in the city center, but it's absolutely treacherous because there's so many things happening all the time. You don't have to watch for cars much but between aggressive locals and the tourists with their heads up their asses, to say nothing of the streetcars wizzing around constantly and the tiny streets, it's pretty chaotic. Guess what? People there crash too.

You seem to be confusing "smug" with "thinly-veiled self-loathing."

NE Broadway around Davis? They're parallel so how does that work?