Hello. Thank you for calling Comcast customer service. Your call is important to us. Please chooses from the following options so we may better help you with your customer service questions:
to go fuck yourself press 1
to send us money and then go fuck yourself press 2
to take a long walk off a short pier while fucking yourself press 3
to fuck yourself while your mom blows us press 4
to get violently and non-consensually fucked by someone other than yourself press 5
to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut press 6
to have a strange and deafening noise unexpectedly fuck your ear press 7
to get fucked by a clown car full of circus midgets press 8
to have your call transferred to another department and then immediately disconnected press 9
to speak to a live operator hang up the phone and then press 0
I am sorry for your computer only crawling along. Does it stay up though? I have Centurylink, we get a breeze through the Gorge and I'm down for 2 days. Read a book, watch TV, play solitaire, drive my wife nuts small talking, until we both start chanting "Blogtown" "Anonymous" "Comment" "Like Us" "Scold us Steve" "Embarrass us Dan" "We want kitties Courtney." We pop our Trazodones and go to bed. We wake up, see the third light in on the modem still off and start pacing and scratching until Centurylink finally flips the right switch and life gets good again. We,re not obsessed we're enslaved.
Anon you should call Comcast. If you're getting speeds like that they will troubleshoot the issue, do a reset on their end or something else. Despite the high prices, I get ridiculously fast and stable internet speeds through Comcast.
to go fuck yourself press 1
to send us money and then go fuck yourself press 2
to take a long walk off a short pier while fucking yourself press 3
to fuck yourself while your mom blows us press 4
to get violently and non-consensually fucked by someone other than yourself press 5
to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut press 6
to have a strange and deafening noise unexpectedly fuck your ear press 7
to get fucked by a clown car full of circus midgets press 8
to have your call transferred to another department and then immediately disconnected press 9
to speak to a live operator hang up the phone and then press 0
to hear this list again press #
When the internet is down, I just resort to auto-erotic asphyxiation.