Cargo bikes are the new messenger bags. One of the rarest sights in Portland is seeing a cargo bike carrying actual cargo.

assisse, YES. I call it aspirational living. People justifying conspicuous consumption-- in this case a $4000 cargo bike-- by touting its eco-friendly utilitarianism.

I guarantee that their household does most of its grocery / kid hauling in its 2+ cars. But that cargo bike called out to them from the pages of Insufferable Parent Magazine, and they couldn't resist. Imagine the nodding approval of their parental peers at Freeform Organic Private Elementary School: A Safe Place to Grow!

Ever see a scrubby twentysomething riding around with nothing in his bakfiets? That's the SE Portland peacock mating display. "Hey ladies, guess who's ready for parenthood! Let's you and me make some precious cargo."

I'd say this is true for any kind of bike/crowded sidewalk situation, but the added bulk and status symbol of the cargo bike does make it worse. Honestly, bike parents are the fucking worst. I get that you're teaching your kid to ride on the sidewalk because it's safer than the street, but the first thing you should teach them is FUCKING SAY SOMETHING before you almost run my dog down. Or, you know, STOP if you're about to hit another living thing.

My dog was very nearly hit by a 6-year-old on a bike the other day, and as I was desperately yanking him out of the way the kid's mom catches up and tells me, "beautiful dog!" as she rides away. Thanks lady. Glad I don't have to carry his beautiful ass to the vet right now as a result of your untrained little monster.

You were born in the sixties
We made a war with the Vietnamese
We loved LSD, we died easily
Can we just say c'est la vie?

For every "OMG, YOU ALMOST KILLED MY DOG/KID/WIFE WITH YOUR BICYCLING CYCLE!" story there's an "OMG, YOUR DUMB DOG/KID/WIFE ALMOST CAUSE ME TO CRASH!" story.

Boring.

The anti-bike rhetoric needs to stay on http://oregonlive.com/ where it can run free and never be questioned. Now I'm going to pedal to work and I hope no one thinks I am somehow being all passive/aggressive by doing so. One can always hope.

Dude, you should know by now that I usually argue on the side of cyclists, since I ride a bike and don't have a car. I just feel that cyclists and people teaching their kids in high traffic areas should adhere to certain safety standards that don't perpetuate the (somewhat true) negative stereotypes about the larger biking community. Not maiming my dog is just a benefit of those standards.

Surly doesn't call their cargo bike frame the "Big Dummy" for nuthin'.

These clods that almost run someone's dog over are certainly the worst. If they run someone's dog over, negates all they are trying to accomplish to be with it.

Cargo pants would be a better rant. Or those dickies with the cell phone pockets.

Or how you can't get a regular sweatshirt without some emblem blazed upon it....

Theres a wtf for you!

The best is when you get caught riding behind one on Interstate/Mississippi/Hawthorne Bridge that's going a steady 6 mph blocking the entire bike lane (or making it tangentially a bit more difficult to pass with the unseemly width of its load).

These lycra bib shorts are being completely wasted on you.

How about I deliver your cargo bike into the fucking Willamette river, you god-hating ingrate.

I love riding my bike, but I generally despise bicyclists.

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@buddy, I ride my cargo bike in my cargo pants. Just for the record ;-)

The harshness of the OP aside, he has valid points. As an owner of a bakfiet-style cargo bike (which I ordered from Portland incidentally), I think it is especially important to be cautious around pedestrians. I wouldn't ride it on a crowded sidewalk, and possibly not even walk it. I would rather walk it in the street and risk myself than put pedestrians at risk. I'd like to think that most bakfietists would do the same, but in any population, you get your share of jerks.

The conspicuous consumption factor is probably valid. I do like riding my Bullitt around my suburban area and seeing all the gawking and double-takes. It's fun. A lot of people are really interested and strike up conversations about it. So I guess I'm showing off quite a bit for the fun of it, though it's more about the bike being unusual and something that a lot of people say to me, "I want one of those" than preening about my eco-IQ. But from what I understand it has become fashionable in NYC and on the west coast to cart kids and cargo around on cargo bikes/trikes. I suspect these are people who consider themselves better than "average" people no matter what current fashionable trend they're following. Not that long ago it was Kabbalah, a Prius, and a pair of Uggs. So it ain't about the bike, it's about the inner snob. I'll freely confess to liking the fact that maybe the only other time someone has sees one of these things in in People Magazine, but I don't think I'm superior. It's just fun and kind of silly. Anyway in a couple of years the craze will be over and I will be happy to be a dork on a weird bike, no more no less.

This is almost a replay of the late nineteeth and early twentieth centuries where bicycles were very expensive and a hobby only for upper class folk. The same class tensions that are inflamed now when people flaunt their expensive bikes where inflamed then.

"Look at my unique bicycle! I am also very unique!"

Last summer I saw some lady crawl through the PSU farmers market crowd on her cargo bike, box empty, dinging her bell at the pedestrians. Fuck that shit.

It also boggles my mind when people schlep their kids around in cargo bikes through heavy traffic. Riding around a quiet neighborhood street is one thing, but being all "assertive bicyclist stereotype" and taking the lane on a 40mph artery with two toddlers up front? Insanity. It's like dangling your child off a cliff.

Ewwww, seabisquick. Eww. You seriously made an account to leave us that bit of douchebaggery?

"I guess I'm showing off quite a bit for the fun of it, though it's more about the bike being unusual and something that a lot of people say to me, "I want one of those" than preening about my eco-IQ. But from what I understand it has become fashionable in NYC and on the west coast to cart kids and cargo around on cargo bikes/trikes."

Yeah, definitely way better to get an overpriced, oversized dickmobile to show off around your suburb than to use it for its intended purpose of hauling cargo. You are officially the bike equivalent of the jackass who buys a hummer to drive to the office.

And an extra infinity points off for use of the word "bakfietists".

You like my Bullitt huh? Yeah, it's just a little something I picked up as a conversation starter. There's not much I can't haul in my Subaru Outback, so I don't use this thing to actually transport anything.

My name? Oh, I'm Thad, but you may know me by my internet moniker... SemenBiscuit.

Well, it was great talking to you. Maybe I'll see you Saturday Market sometime. I love the market. I buy all my locally grown, organic, cage-free, hormone-free... Blah Blah Blah.

OK, wow, so much negativity. First, if you couldn't tell my post was meant as tongue-in-cheek, oh well. Second, for the record, I don't remember saying what I did or didn't haul in the Bullitt. Actually I've put quite a few heavy and oversized things in it. It's fun to discover all the things you can haul in it. I'm going to be transporting some 3-4' diameter lava rocks in it this weekend to a friend's house. Not that I actually need you to "qualify" me to own and ride the bike, but I'm just pointing out your bias when you don't have actual facts to work with.

And I was being honest about myself. I get a kick out of having something unusual. So what? I don't use it to make other people feel bad. Actually, I get a lot of positive interactions with people and I'm very respectful of others on the road and sidewalks. So where's the "douchebaggery"? If you were the type of person who was so humble as to not have your own vanities, you wouldn't feel any need to launch into insult mode.

I thought "bakfietists" was funny for the very reason that you were offended. It's a ridiculous thing to identify yourself as. I never heard the term before so I just made it up on the spot. Lighten up. You might find the world is sillier and more fun that way.