Non-Portlanders have sexual fantasies. Portlanders have tell-off-the-neighbors fantasies.

I thought I had issues.

Fake. Pee is not going to kill grass like that. At least make it somewhat plausible… sadly, my disbelief was not suspended.

Yeah, you are an asshole.

By "back porch" he means overturned Burnside Cadillac. By "mimosas", he means a warm Old English. Agree with Tod MClen- this is fantasy fiction for losers.

I can't wait to read the post your neighbor writes, detailing his desire to tell you off every day he catches you gazing upon his yard work from your breakfast nook. This is all just so suspenseful.

Sounds like you're being the jerk, I Anon. What's the big deal about walking around his house in the street?

The fuck are you spite pissers drinking that your pee instantly kills grass?

3

A perfectly maintained yard is pointless, but then again, so is I,A's existence. Pretty much interchangeable!

Let's all just live in a burnt out ghetto because meh fuck it taking care of things is stupid.

I'Anon, You should be living next to a person that has tires,unused cars rusting out,dogs chained to trees etc.
You think you are a tough guy and wanted to start a fight with your neighbor. Bet they are smaller than you too, so you rant about what an idiot they are for wanting to have a nice yard. I doubt they took up the side walk all day. I really wish this person would have knocked you out, wailing on the sidewalk"Help Me!,Help Me!!!!

You are a jerk and not drinking Mimosas but kerosine. You jealous PRICK.

If true, what a complete asshole. And I don't even mean about peeing on a yard - big deal - but the rest of it? You should be picking on someone your own size. Or not a senior citizen.

I wonder if the dude is as meticulous about his manscaping?

Piss lazers are back!

O'Doyle, I've got a feeling your whole family's going down.

Wow. Whoever submitted this has serious anger issues, trying to pick a fight because someone cares about their yard. Please don't move to my neighborhood.

"Excuse me, but when you put all this stuff on the sidewalk, everyone needs to go on the street to get through. Could you put your bags and stuff maybe on your lawn or driveway please?"

See? This is how an adult confronts a problem. You make a polite request and see how the other person reacts. If they are unreasonable, then you can up the ante. But to piss on his lawn just because you're irritated at the amount of attention he gives it shows what a little shit you are.

While I don't understand why (someone in my neighborhood) mowed the lawn friday saturday sunday and monday (it's a small lot and grass doesn't grow by the hour). I don't care enough to go challenge him to a fight because of it (or maybe I feel that would be irresponsible on my part).

Some people just really like working in their yard (maybe he's escaping his wife or taking his work aggressions out)

I do think lucydog3 has a good point, hey could you please put your stuff in such a way that people can walk through here. Just a simple path would be fine with me.

If I'm not mistaken, pee usually makes grass grow better, not worse; how toxic is y'alls pee, anyway?