Anon doth protest too much, methinks.

I'M NOT STALKING YOU!!!
you just happen to keep showing up where I am....
really, I hate you, even tho you once gave me that lip gloss....

> WHY WOULD I BE STALKING YOU LIKE YOU SAID I WAS

Because you think you're such a great catch and so 'normal' (based on how you started this letter, going through your pedigree like that) so you think that being aggressive and unrelenting isn't technically stalking in your eyes. Usually stalkers ARE successful people, like the NASA woman who drove across the country in a diaper. Usually it's people who are used to having it all and always getting what they want (because they're so well adjusted and normal, right?) who lose their shit when they can't have the person they want. And just based on this letter, you're clearly sour enough to write this anonymous rant about how the other person needs to "get over yourself".

It's a new kind of personal ad:

you can't have me. Does that make you want me? I desperately hope so.

I think what we have here is a case of Dissociative identity disorder.

i wish i was a good talker. I suppose I will make do with speaking well.

You know that within the core of your too-cool-for-school-schmoopy-dog-owning persona there lies the empty and meaningless void, right? Darker than any night? Silence so deep it sounds like screaming? Just checking.

Stalker.

The schmoopiest Ianon ever

Update: As of 12:41pm PST, assisse currently has 4 likes on his oh so insightful comment.

Ergo...

He is sitting on his couch with pint of Ben & Jerry's surrounded by a laptop, desktop, iPhone, and iPAD liking the shit out of his own comment.

Ugh... these are the ppl that are online dating.

Y WLD I B STALKING U

Guess who: http://personals.portlandmercury.com/gyrob…

Hayley is right look at lovelab ad over there. Well thats economical.

"I'll tell you what I'm blathering about... I've got information man! New shit has come to light! And shit... man, she kidnapped herself. Well sure, man. Look at it... a young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know, and she, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that's cool... that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, she needs money, man. And of course they're going to say that they didn't get it, because... she wants more, man! She's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?"