Comments

1
Is this an excerpt from an 80s minimalist short story, or do you really have so little going on in your life?
2
Is there an Evan Esar quip about passive-aggressive people?
3
Somehow I'm thinking this is not going to be a match made in heaven!!
4
As a person who also goes to bars and does crossword puzzles: yeah to that. In the best case scenario, you attract jackasses who scream incorrect answers repeatedly at you until you tell them to fuck off, in the worst, well...you get some other kind of jackass poorly working the puzzle into their artless hitting-on. Eesh. I feel for you.
5
Jerk Specific Reticence as a core scientific property can be better expressed as R= J when J = population of bar or entire world
6
Tldr
7
You sound like a ton of fun to hang out with
8
He's a little slow, his line clearly should've been "Crosswords? If I go down, will you come across?"
9
It sounds like you were just shy of telling him to fuck off. Maybe you should've just pulled the trigger. Then we wouldn't have to read this trash.
10
Why don't you play the cymbals at the bar? Then, when someone comes over and is all, like, "Hey, whatcha doing?". You can be all, like, "Trying not to attract attention to how cool I look when I smash these super smart cymbals together! Sheesh, can't I play my cymbals in peace?"

You suck. Crosswords don't belong in a bar.
11
2 Down
Hand appendages not fingers
12
I know! It is so annoying when people in bars try to talk to you when you are there alone! In bars of all places. This is why PDX SUX!
13
Honestly, give the guy a break. He may have thought you were lonely. In a bar with your little books or crossword puzzles. But, you were not looking for attention and really into your puzzle.HA HA HA HA

Was he the only one that approached you? I thought so,
he just wanted to help you out by talking to you. Wear more lipstick or something. You won't need the props.

The word you were looking up was DESPERATE.
14
Don't be upset with him. He probably thought you would buy him a drink.

Is this when you yell out"Bartender, give me another round for the little guy and a VOWELL."
15
Why would you pick a bar, where you pay three times the price of a drink, to be completely alone! I love that Portland regards chit at in public akin to requesting a fisting.

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