wood.jpg
Liangbing Hu via New York Times

As our parents and grandparents probably remember where they were when man first walked on the moon, you shall remember this moment and tell future generations where you were when you learned about invisible wood—the greatest of all mankind's triumphs. The New York Times has the details.

Invisible wood. Humans have invented invisible wood. This is game over. What is left? Cold fusion? A car that runs on the pollution? A cell phone that desalinates water and removes your double chin from selfies? Fuck all that shit. INVISIBLE WOOD.

But on the real: Why are scientists fucking around with this stuff? Are these nerds doing this while procrastinating from their real job of finding us a way to not die from climate change or a meteor strike? I’d appreciate it if you dorks could go back to inventing a pill that lets me eat as much pizza I want. Thanks.

I guess this stuff is stronger than glass, so people who live in transparent wood houses can throw all the stones they want. And in true science-y fashion, I'm sure there's actually an insane amount of applications for this stuff.

Sponsored
The 4th annual Portland Sketch Comedy Festival
Sketch comedy troupes from all over N. America descend on The Siren Theater for 3 glorious nights.