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Courtesy Burger King / Satan

In the face of Burger Week—which has Portland burger lovers in a gluttonous frenzy—it's little wonder that longtime burger maker Burger King is panicking, throwing their hands up in defeat, and hastily forming a new business model: making WHOPPER BURRITOS. From the Chicago Tribune:

The Whopperito, which puts Whopper burger ingredients like beef, tomatoes, onions, lettuce and pickles inside a flour tortilla, will be sold nationally beginning Aug. 15. A queso sauce replaces the mayonnaise from the hamburger.

"It's certainly one of the first times that we've tapped into the Tex-Mex category," Alex Macedo, North American president at Burger King, said in an interview. "It's one of the fastest-growing categories — consumers like the freshness of it, they like the mix of flavors."
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Burger King, which reported second-quarter same-store sales that trailed analysts' estimates last week, has been trying to use new fare to bring in more diners.

The Whopperito will go on sale at Burger King locations starting next week, if you're interested in SOMETHING THAT IS NOT A HAMBURGER. However, you maaaaaay want to try this Southwest-style burger instead:

The Mole Madre from Migration Brewing
The Mole Madre from Migration Brewing Minh Tran

Migration Brewing has decided to migrate (ha!) down to the Southwest for its burger, a beef patty covered in mole ketchup, cotija, tomatillo dressing, and (most importantly) fried avocado. Yes, fried avocados. Avocados, as you know, are delicious green fat bombs that are basically vegan butter, and Migration has gone ahead and made them even more decadent by frying them. It works great. You didn't know that you wanted fried guacamole on your burger, but now you do. Being a brewery, Migration has plenty of beer on offer, and their Terry's Porter pairs well with the Mole Madre. The smoky notes in that brew compliment the Southwest flavors of the burger, giving the impression of a sweet chipotle. JOE STRECKERT

Love Mercury Food & Drink Coverage?

The Portland Mercury’s Burger Week—AKA the best week of your life—runs from Aug 8-13. Feast on amazing $5 burgers at 35 restaurants… and while you’re at it, we challenge you to donate $5 to Oregon Food Bank for every burger you eat!

Check out the entire Burger Week list here.