This just in from the Dallas Oregon Police Department (Dallas is in Polk County, west of Salem):

Let's break this post down, shall we?

1) Lt. Mott calls clowning "a segment of society's attempt at entertaining themselves." This sounds sarcastic. Clowning is a proud profession that dates back to the mid-1500s and has a long, storied history of entertaining others—not just themselves. Lt. Mott should revise his statement.

2) "A person can generally wander the streets dressed as a clown if they want." Lt. Mott is correct in this statement... though I'm not sure what he means by "generally." Clowns have the same inalienable rights as any other American.

3) "What a person can't do is scare and then chase middle-school children down the street as they are walking to school." I agree with this... in theory. However, I will say that some ignorant people are predisposed to being frightened of clowns. This is discrimination, plain and simple. Clowns cannot control the emotions of others—unless they are inspiring gales of mirth and laughter! Also middle-school children are usually dicks. So.

4) "We will not tolerate this in our community, and will arrest the person who does this if we are able." Again, Lt. Mott should make a better attempt at distinguishing between "good" and "bad" clowns. He is unwittingly fostering a climate of distrust and fear. Also, what does he mean they'll arrest the clown if "we are able"? CLOWNS WEAR BIG FLOPPY SHOES. If the local authorities can't catch a clown, then maybe they ought to reexamine their level of fitness.

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CLOWN DISCRIMINATION? Visit Stop Clown Hate, or your local library.