Here's a classic submission from the I, Anonymous blog, circa January 2016.

Keep Your LSD Cryfests Away from My Star Wars

I WAS TRYING to enjoy the new Star Wars in IMAX. You were sitting right behind me and started whimper-crying in the most pathetic way. Mind you, this started around the time Han and Leia were reunited, so I couldn't understand what the fuck could be so fucking sad at that point in the film?!? I thought you might have been crying tears of joy at seeing the old lovebirds together again—but no, something much more horrible was amiss, because the sobbing literally didn't stop for another 40 minutes. There was also the occasional random snickering mixed in with your primal, childlike weeping, which led me to the conclusion that you were in the middle of a really bad psychedelic trip. Please know that your emotional, probably drug-induced breakdown was a less-than-ideal soundtrack, and frankly, was kind of scary. Next time, please go with a sober friend who can kindly escort your blubbering ass out of the theater before you completely ruin the experience of other moviegoers.—Anonymous

Do you have a rant or confession you'd like to get off your chest? Drop it in the I, Anonymous Blog where it could be chosen for our weekly paper edition, or read aloud at our live I, Anonymous comedy show (coming Monday, March 20)!