My sister Carolyn drew at Picture This Friday night! THE MAIN SISTERS AND OUR WRISTBANDS ARE MOVIN ON UP IN THIS WORLD
My sister Carolyn drew at Picture This Friday night! THE MAIN SISTERS AND OUR WRISTBANDS ARE MOVIN ON UP IN THIS WORLD Andie Main

I started off Thursday with brunch with fellow performers at Batter, Griddle and Drinkery, and it was honestly worth all of the open mics I’ve gone to in and of itself. I made new friends, and had a nice summer ale to kill my hangover/start working on a new one. We headed back to the Doug Fir and I got a freakin' free massage and ate mac 'n' cheese from Montage and told Dave Hill that I wanted to open a food cart next to Voodoo Doughnut called Doodoo Doughnut, because I am great at first impressions. I ran into some of my favorite people: Myq Kaplan, Nick Vatterott, and Danny and Liz Maupin (the producers/hosts of Late Late Breakfast), and we hatched a plan to go get free vape pens and heavily discounted joints from Foster Buds. If you ever end up hanging out with Myq Kaplan and Nick Vatterott and you don’t like puns and three-dimensional chess-level wordplay, you are doomed.

After that, it was time for my show at Bunk Bar. (Bridgetown provide a fleet of drivers to help performers get around.) Our show, Lez is More, was great—I had a set where I experimented with the boundaries of good taste and felt blessed to have a smart and attentive audience. I took down the patriarchy, wrapped things up, and got a lot of hugs, high fives, and tater tots. In my view, Caitlin Weierhauser had the set of the night—they are one of the most relatable and silly comics I’ve ever met. You’d better follow Cait and see everything they do, because they are a TREASURE.

After my show, I headed over to catch Whatever Forever at Analog, because I am a big fan of Andres DuBouchet and Josh Johnson. Johnson's a brilliant and charming dude; he has natural pacing and timing that I am super jealous of, and he’ll have half-hour special featured by Comedy Central this year—you should def check him out before he gets hella famous.

Support The Portland Mercury

The Analog Theater at 11 pm on Thursday
The Analog Theater at 11 pm on Thursday Andie Main

Any show at 10 pm on a Thursday is going to have its challenges, and the heckler in the back row made things extra weird at Whatever Forever. He looked like Tommy Wiseau and stared me down when I walked by. Then he got up onstage and hugged poor Robbie Pankow and whispered in his ear, “You’re doing great stuff, keep it up.” I don’t know why the staff didn’t kick him out after that, but he left on his own after the show to go ruin someone else’s life by being creepily supportive.

I got to sit in the back with DuBouchet and Ron Lynch, which was almost better than free brunch. All in all, it was a fantastic night of friendship and perseverance, and I also got to observe my annual tradition of getting mortally wounded! I missed a step on my way out and fell flat on my face in front of DuBouchet and Lynch, twisting my ankle along the way. Andres immediately rushed over to help, and nearly fell over the same stair I'd just tripped over. I can barely walk, but it’s okay because Guy Branum has pledged that he will carry me to the stage. If you see me hobbling around, I want you to know that I am 100 percent open to donations of painkillers.