Nadia Nadim swoops in to save the day with two points! GET THIS WOMAN A CAPE!
Nadia Nadim swoops in to save the day with two points! GET THIS WOMAN A CAPE! Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC

Slather on some sunscreen and tighten those scarves! After two weeks of playing in some other substandard semi soccer town, the Portland Thorns will take on the Boston Breakers this Saturday at your very own Providence Park. MY FACE IS SO HAPPY MY EYES COULD SHOOT LASERS!

Want to win two tickets to this Saturday's game? Fill out the widget thingy below by 5 pm today to win two tickets to the Thorns/Breakers match courtesy of the generous folk over at the National Soccer Coaches Association (@NSCAA)!

Now... let's chat about last week's match, shall we?

Yes, we played in Boston just last Friday. While many of you were faking illness and leaving work early to find room on a sunny deck in Portland, some of us were faking illness, leaving work early and wishing the windows were shuttered at a bar called River Pig in the Pearl District.

Look, I thought that this was going to be the game where the Thorns would win most convincingly. I thought for sure this would be the game where the Thorns would flex and blow Breakers back to the Boston Tea Party. Instead, I watched anxiously as the Thorns came from behind to end in a 2-2 draw. The Breakers scored their first of two goals in the 37 minute after Boston’s Natasha Dowie headed a cross right past Klingenberg and into the net. BARBRA FREAKING STREISAND HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

“Don’t worry,” I thought, “The Thorns have been scored on first before... in fact, Seattle scored on us first at the last home game, and boy did our midfield turn on the jets after that!” When the Thorns returned for the second half I was excited to see what kind of soccer KUNG FU the Thorns would lay upon the Breakers. But just a few minutes into the half, Breakers' midfielder Rosie White nailed another one in. Our KUNG FU HUSTLE was turning out to be a KUNG FU KERFUFFLE.

Thorns with a header. Breakers with a Dab.
Thorns with a header. Breakers with a Dab. Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC

I'll tell you what he would do: HE WOULD NOT STOP BELIEVING. And you know who really did not stop believing? Nadia Nadim. It was thrilling to watch the Thorns answer a two-point lead on the road and watching Nadim score both goals was truly inspiring. The first goal was the result of a penalty kick from a forced handball. Sheesh—this was Nadim’s third successful PKs this season. PLEASE NADIM, MAY WE HAVE SOME MORE? The second and last goal of the match was also from Nadim. This goal was the result of timing, precision, and technique. A beautiful feed up the field from Horan to Raso, then a precise touch to Nadim and then BIP BAM BOP —Nadim scores again! That’s five goals so far this season! AND WE HAVE ONLY PLAYED SIX OF 24 GAMES!

Look, just enjoy the games, ok? The Thorns are a great team with even greater potential. We have some early injuries that are keeping some of our superstars on the bench. We played this last game without mega playmaker Allie Long, and we haven’t seen Tobin Heath in ages. I WANT PROOF THAT SHE IS ALIVE!

Currently, we are seated in the number five slot in league standings. Right smack dab in the middle. The season is going to be a long one, we have some tough teams ahead, but please keep in mind this team keeps finding a way to hang in there. If only we could figure out how to engage the jet power at the start of the game instead of when we are down by a point or two. DOES ANYONE KNOW MAGIC?

Get your tickets to see the game this Saturday at 7pm. No doubt it will be a beautiful day in the Rose City. Come welcome our Thorns home AND WORSHIP THE SUN!
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