Hi Dan Savage. I am 78. Wife passed on sex for last 15-18 years. It is driving me crazy. I don't want a divorce but I would really like some sexual companionship. How might I go about it? Suggetions?
Distressed Elder Seeking Direction
Everyone out there reading this—everyone besides, it seems, the person who sent me today's question—knows what I'm gonna tell DESD, right? Do what you have to do to stay married and stays sane, sometimes cheating is the least worst option, get online and find a sex worker (Mistress Matisse has some good advice on finding one). But I'm curious what you would tell him, dear reader. Is everyone in agreement with me these days? Or do I still have readers who believe honor and decency require DESD to divorce his (presumably elderly) wife before seeking sex outside his sexless-but-monogamous marriage?
I'm going to write back to DESD privately and direct him to a few dozen of the hundreds of times I've offered advice to people—men and women—in his shoes. But, like I said, I'm curious what you would tell him. Anyone out there still in the marriage-is-a-commitment-to-monogamy-not-each-other camp? Let it rip in comments.