Unstoppable and always hungry for more front line action. Hayley Raso
Unstoppable and always hungry for more front-line action. Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC
Hey there! Did you miss me? No? Well, I missed you, but I have not missed a bit of soccer! The Thorns have been working their way up to that number-two spot in the NWSL standings. POP A WHEELIE AND RIDE THE WHOLE LENGTH OF THE BLOCK! After that stellar win against the Houston Dash a few weeks ago at Providence Park, the Thorns blasted over to Illinois to meet and defeat the Chicago Red Stars. SQUISH, POP, CICERO, LIPSCHITZ!


This was a HUGE WIN– especially since we were playing away. You see, Chicago had been rolling around in the second spot of the standings for awhile, and while everyone was looking for a good game, we really didn’t expect to waltz out of the park with three fat funky points AND replace them in that number-two spot. The maraschino cherry on top was the fact that the Thorns handed the Red Stars their first home loss. COTTON CANDY SWEET AS GOLD LET ME SEE YOU TOOTSIE ROLL!

The Thorns tallied goals from Sinclair, Raso, and Sonnett. Guys, LISTEN TO ME, this game was truly electrifying. The second goal by Sinclair was sweeter than a hummingbird’s lips after a Saturday night dinner at Shari’s Cafe and Pies! VICTORY IS DELICIOUS

1.Raso sends the ball up from midfield.
2. Henry touches it twice up the right side and slips it to the middle of the box.
3. Brynjarsdottir picks up what Henry sent down and side-shuffles it just behind her.
4. Syncopated and ever patient, Christine Sinclair is in the right place at the right time with the right idea.

Sinclair and Raso are clicking on so many levels on the field. The Ref isnt into it.
Sinclair and Raso are clicking on so many levels on the field. The Ref isn't into it. Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC

The Thorns played smart and concise—PISTONS FIRING AT ALL CYLINDERS! Even without Allie Long’s direction in the midfield, the team seamlessly made adjustments throughout the match. Everyone was LOCKED AND LOADED and ready to take the wind right out of Chicago’s sails.

There was one notable, shall we say, "incident" that I feel I should mention. (If there are children in the car, you might want to not read this part out loud... you also might consider not reading while you are driving, especially while your kids are in the car.) Portland’s newish forward, Tyler Lussi, subbed into the game HOT, FRESH, and ready to PARTY in the 61st minute. It looked as if her BLAST OF ENERGY may have gotten the best of her and she made what my mother might call a “not so flattering choice” when she pulled a Chicago Red Star player’s luxurious pony tail. EASY COWBOY! This wasn’t a “hey look at me, I want attention” tug of the hair—it was more of a “possible neck injury yank” that left the player on the ground. And while I expected a yellow or red card from the referee, nothing was presented to Lussi during the match. However, the league later suspended Lussi for three games and also fined her an undisclosed chunk of money. This aggressive and dangerous play definitely bummed me out, and I'm relieved that the league is doing its best to keep the NWSL drama-free. SAVE YOUR DRAMA FOR THE ECLIPSE!

AD Franch rocked and made some incredible stops in both Chicago and Kansas City
AD Franch rocked and made some incredible stops in both Chicago and Kansas City. Photo courtesy Portland Thorns FC

Things didn’t go as well for the Thorns on Wednesday when they played FC Kansas City in Kansas City. BOO FREAKING HOO. I had every intention of watching the game, but there was a two-hour weather delay due to lightning, and skipping a meeting to watch a soccer game is not something I can get in the habit of doing (or get away with). #adulting

Portland got on the board first with a penalty kick from Amandine Henry after Sinclair was tripped up in the box. Things seemed to be looking up, but after 64 minutes, FCKC’s Yael Averbuch dotted a beautiful free kick in from just outside the goal box. FCKC THAT! Then again, before the Thorns could find their stride, Sydney Leroux landed a header into the net and put Kansas City on top. STICKY BACKS OF MY KNEES—THORNS FOUR GAME WINNING STREAK IS BROKEN!

There is no time to pout! We have a full weekend of soccer here in Portland! The Thorns are back home and looking for a repeat of their last home game when they beat the Houston Dash. Thorns take on the Dash again at 7 pm at Providence Park on Saturday. Portland is still seated at in the number-two spot with 31 points, below the Courage, who have 36 points, and just above the Red Stars, with 29. Things are getting tight as we only have six regular-season games left and only three of them are home games—SO GET MOVIN!

Come practice looking directly at the sun with me at the game! Tickets here!
Twitter me @erinjeanius.