GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! 48 hours of love—It gonna be a weekend marathon. So you better get ready, my king, 'cause I'mma be the queen of insomnia. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

In local racism, a white man has been accused of following and hurling racial slurs at a Black man. Meanwhile at Roosevelt High School, someone put up a "The KKK Wants You" sticker. So... yeah... great.

A random shooter is terrorizing drivers along a rural Clackamas County highway.

Not helping matters, the Multnomah County GOP is raffling off an assault-style rifle to raise money to pay their rent. (Why do I suspect these top three stories are somehow connected?)

Fucking whackjob Roy Moore won the Republican primary for Alabama's US senate seat last night, beating the Trump and GOP approved candidate Luther Strange, who is also terrible. The only good news in this story is that it's another strong indicator that the Republican party is coming apart at the seams.

Trump is apparently very embarrassed by Strange's loss, because he's deleted all his supportive tweets for the candidate.

Mitch McConnell put the kibosh on the latest GOP attempt to ruin healthcare for millions of people, and says they'll be moving on to tax reform. (Didn't they say exactly the same thing last time?)

Expect the unveiling of the GOP's tax "reform" plan later today, but here's a sneak peek.

Trump is trying to convince everyone that his efforts to help the hurricane-stricken people of Puerto Rico are super great! They are most definitely not.

And just so you know how much Vladimir Putin HATED Hillary Clinton, there's this story about how Russian-backed Facebook ads backed Trump... and Stein... and Sanders.

More scandal for Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price, who has been busted costing taxpayers $400,000 after using private planes for personal reasons.

This headline says it all: "Twitter Seems to Believe Its Problem Is People Can't Pack Enough Bile and Bullshit into 140 Characters."

And here's a headline that probably won't help you sleep any better: "Russian ‘cannibal couple’ may have drugged, killed and eaten as many as 30 people, police say."

Okay guys, let's check the WEATHER: Sunny skies today with a high of 84!

And finally, ummm... I don't have anything other to say than to watch this video—especially between the 2:22 and 2:53 mark. You will certainly be glad you did.