Am I high a fair portion of the time? As in, most waking hours?

I am, thank you for asking. So I would totally understand if you think what I'm about to tell you is nothing more than a cannabis-induced bit of fiction. But it's not... It's happening. It's really happening. And you should totally go and LISTEN TO MUSIC MADE BY POT PLANTS.

This Saturday, October 7, from 7 to 10 pm, Panacea Dispensary (6714 NE Sandy) is holding the first event of this kind that I'm aware of—not that I usually track events of this kind. They're dubbing it "Ensemble Effect: The Singing Weed Experience," and you can "interact with plants that perform live music."

This is real. I have not been doing dabs.

Panacea asks the question: "Does cannabis sing?" (To which I reply: If so, will it choose tunes I like such as Elvis Costello and Nick Cave, or is it really into show tunes and crap like "Desperado"?)

Portland-based electronic music group Plantoid has given cannabis a voice by "using sensory feedback to control musical synthesizers." Plantoid will perform with cannabis clones connected to Eurorack modular synthesizers at a reception with the artist behind Plantoid, Jeremy Helms. This is a one-night-only installation of this sound sculpture, so don't space out.

"By connecting plants to synthesizers, we’re enabling them to move the air around (sound!). Patterns plants produce feel natural, soothing and totally unpredictable. Interactive experiments show how sensitive plants are to their environment. Music patterns evolve rapidly when animals and other plants are present. They breathe out what we breathe in, creating a synthesis for life, this is the nature of music as well," says Helms.

Works by Justin Auld and Micah Munekata will also be featured in the gallery. Mind-expanding music, wine, and arty conversation will be served from 7 to 10 pm. Please note the dispensary will close at 8 pm and there is no on-site consumption of cannabis products. (Pssssttt... you seriously should be high for this, so get your full dose of edibles and a Lyft set up now.)