GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I scream it loud and proud, Missy gonna blow it down. People gonna play me now, in and outta town. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Could Portland be the home of a major league baseball team? A group of investors are reportedly trying to secure financing for a new stadium, and... and... c'mon guys! I know soccer is cool and all, but baseball is cool, too! WELL, IT IS! (Sniff. Oh never mind.)

Senators Patty Murray and Lamar Alexander have come up with a bipartisan plan that would help stabilize the insurance markets and undo some of the blatant sabotage of Obamacare by President Trump. Stand by to see how he fucks it up.

Another federal judge has ruled against Trump's racist travel ban, citing that the president's own remarks on Twitter make it unconstitutional.

The widow of a fallen soldier is corroborating a report that Trump was wildly insensitive when offering his condolences. Trump says he has proof he didn't say it. (Arrested Development narrator: "He had none.")

Attorney General Jeff Sessions is testifying before congress today and is being especially cagey and uncooperative in regards to his conversations with Trump about former FBI director James Comey.

Former press secretary Sean Spicer reportedly spent almost all of his Monday being grilled by Robert Mueller's investigative team on a number of subjects including Russia and the firing of James Comey.

Because guns keep us safer: Three killed and two wounded in an office park shooting in Maryland.

The NFL will not penalize players who choose to support the Black Lives Matter movement by kneeling during the National Anthem. In response, Trump cried "Wah Wah Wah."

Former Olympic gold medalist McKayla Maroney has shared her #MeToo story about being molested by the USA Gymnastics team doctor.

A supposed women's empowerment group in Albany, New York has been torturing their members during their secret initiation ceremony, which includes (gulp) branding.

Now let's peep the WEATHER: A showery morning gives way to a drier afternoon with a high of 65.

And finally, here is a very beautiful illustration of the concept of inertia. SCIENCE!